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yay! Angry Music Reviews!

I simply refuse to accept that people’s standards of rock music have spiraled into such a deep abyss that they’re willing to accept Jack Johnson. However, the popularity of John Mayer is even more bewildering. The man is such an unmitigated pussy that he makes his mentor, the insufferable Dave Matthews, look like Lemmy from Motorhead. The fact that anyone could seriously sing a song called “Your Body is a Wonderland” in front of actual human beings without getting laughed off the stage is vein-poppingly infuriating. The lyrics of the song are, amazingly, about a million times lamer than the title. Let’s just take a look at some of them, shall we?


We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

Wow, it’s like a remake of Afternoon Delight by the Starland Vocal Band! That’s exactly what we needed.



Yet another reason to love Something Awful

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
dlbags
Dec. 19th, 2003 06:58 pm (UTC)
I got a good one for you...
"I see his fuckin' haircut, I hear his fuckin' whine, I see his fake clothes, and then he opens his fuckin' mouth and all I want to do is smash the fucker's teeth down his throat."

That's Paul Westerberg on Ryan Adams...el oh el.

A great reason to like Well Hung at Dawn on RolingStone.com!
mjfgates
Dec. 21st, 2003 01:50 am (UTC)
Dave Matthews is God.


...


No, really.


...


Now, y'all think about that for a minute. And y'all think about me for a minute.


...


Exactly.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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