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We get letters...

Today we got this piece of mail in a big envelope from the Bush -Cheney campaign with a big stamp on it that says "Do Not Bend: Presidental Photos Inside". It was folded neatly in half, of course.
Anyway, the letter inside starts off "Dear Mr.xxxxx" with the last name scratched out in what looks like pen and "Karl" written above in what's supposed to look like actual handwriting and not a font.
and it continues

Will you become one of the  first to join the Bush-Cheney '04 Team as a Charter Member in Virginia? I would be thrilled to tell the President you are with us.

As a small token of appreciation and to welcome you to our team, I am proud to present you with the enclosed photo of the President and Laura Bush --complete with a special, personal inscription to you.

Your photo is a symbol of the commitment we share -- the commitment between you, the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign and President Bush. I hope you are as proud of this commitment as we are, Mr. XXXXX, and I also hope your photo will serve as a reminder of the importance of Charter Members of the Bush-Cheney '04 Team: to provide continuing grassroots support for President Bush and Vice President Cheney as we work to get the campaign up and running.

Already, Democrats have relentlessly attacked the President, while liberal special interest gropus are raising hundreds of millions of dollars to defeat President Bush.

We are relying on our Charter Members to be the leaders in their area for President Bush and the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign.

And there are two things you can do today to help:

  1. Send back the enclosed Receipt Confirmation Form to let me know that your photograph arrived in good condition and is suitable for framing and display. This may seem like a little thing, but it is very important to me personally to know that your support has been properly acknowledged.
  2. When you send back your Receipt Confirmation, please include a contribusion of $1,000, $500, $250, $100, $50, $35, $25, or whatever you can afford to join the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign Team to help reach out to other grassroots leaders like you.

Mr. XXXXX, your support is critical. The 2000 and 2002 elections revealed that our national political contests are extremely competitive but, if we work together, we can prevail.

It is essential we fully fund our voter outreach program --this special program will make the difference between winning and losing in 2004. Our goal is to reach out to register 3 million voters who support President Bush's bold vision for America.

We will need to build this strong grassroots team because of the vicious attacks we're already facing from our Democratic challengers. Their rhetoric has amounted to nothing more than political hate speech. Senator John Kerry compares President Bush to Saddamn Hussein, calling for regime change in the United States. Then, Democrat Party leader Terry McAuliffe accussed the President of being AWOL during his National Guard service and of never having served in the military even though President Bush fulfilled his requirements and was honorably discharged.

And our opponents are well funded. Backed by the likes of billionaire currency trader George Soros, who has compared President Bush to a Nazi, various liberal special interest groups have vowed to defeat Preside Bush. So far these groups have amassed a war chest of almost $200 million - with plans to raise half a billion dollars. Soros even said he woudl spend his entire $7 billion fortune if it would guarantee President Bush would lose in 2004.

President Bush is relying on you and other friends to help turn back these Democrat assults and elevate the political debate for his positive, optimistic agenda for Ameria:

  • an agenda that continues the War on Terrorism and protects the homeland,
  • an agenda that strengthens the economy and creates new jobs,
  • an agenda that makes it possible for every American to won a home, health and retirement plan and, if they want, their own business, and
  • an agenda that focuses on results in schools so every child learns to read and no child is left behind.

But the liberal national media won't deliver this message to the American people. They have their own agenda. It is up to supporters like you to help us get the message directly to the voters.

Thanks to the generous support of the Bush-Cheney Charter Members we are on our way to meeting our budget goal, but we still have a ways to go.

So please return your signed Receipt Confirmation Form today along with a contribusion of $1,000, $500, $250, $100, $50, $25, or $25 to help us meet our goal and keep our voter contact programs moving forward.

I hope you will display your photo of President and Laura Bush proudly -- not only as a token of appreciation for your contribution to join as a Charter Member of the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign -- but also as a reminder of why we cannot afford to fall short now.

Mr. XXXX, on behalf of President Bush and Vice President Cheney thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Mark Racicot

Chairman

 

P.S. Your early support of President Bush and his campaign will mark you as a grassroots leader in Virginia. Oly with yor help as a Charter Member can the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign create a viable grassroots organization. Please join the Bush-Cheney '04 Team as a Charter Member with your contribution of $1,000, $500, $250, $100, $50, $35, or even $25 to help us lay the groundwork to win in 2004.

Damn that liberal media for not letting me know that Bush has plans to keep fighting a war (that most of us didn't want against a country that doesn't deserve it, against enemies that change every day), plans to strengthen the economy and create jobs (something he's done just the opposite of thus far), plans to make it easier for us all to have a higher quality of living (since he's done now making the rich people's lives easier), and plans to make sure that every child in america is literate (becuase he knows from experience that social promotion just does no good).

I would like someone to point out to me... honestly and seriously here... where the hell the liberal bias in the media is. I've NEVER seen it. Ever. In my life time most mainstream media outlets have been own by large corporations that have an interst in keeping the news from benig too controvertial for them, and have been beholden to the wants of their advertisers more than they've been to telling the truth without an agenda. I've never understood where that "liberal media" thing comes from.

Anyway. Yes. Funny mail. I should cut a penny in half and send them part.

 

 

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
akadashi
May. 27th, 2004 01:21 pm (UTC)
1. Defacing and/or destroying United States currency is a felony.
2. Republicans are "scary" but you taking the time to type out and format that entire letter isn't?

GO HUG A CAMEL TREE YOU FUCKING TERRORIST
mjfgates
May. 27th, 2004 03:47 pm (UTC)
We went to the Pacific Science Center last weekend, and they had one of those penny-defacing machines in the dinosaur exhibit. Drop in 51 cents, pick one of four different dino designs, and pull the handle, and SKRREEEECRUNCH, the penny gets deformed into a picture of a real dinosaur!

They've also got a tropical butterfly room, with actual live tropical butterflies foofiting about. Very cool place.
akadashi
May. 28th, 2004 02:07 pm (UTC)
We appreciate your cooperation and will offer you immunity in return for your testimony. The proper authorities have been alerted and and en route to said "Science Center" in the name of homeland security.

Good job, citizen.
frobisher
May. 28th, 2004 10:52 am (UTC)
I find the part about the Democrats having a huge "war chest" particularly amusing.

As to the liberal media, that comes from people being dorks. You might want to take a look at Eric Alterman's book, What Liberal Media?
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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