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I like that American English is a bawdy amalgam of so many other languages, conventions, and idiosyncracies. It makes it a very daunting task to learn for a non-native speaker (even those that speak English already), but it keeps it interesting. I've always liked that language lives and changes and evolves.

That said, there are a few words I want stricken. "'tis" and "'twas".

You are not Frank McCourt. You are not your D&D character. You are not a serving wench in real life, no matter what role you play at your local renfaire every year. You are a full grown American speaker with none of the qualifying characteristics that would make you use these words in your every day speech. It's forced, it's false, and most importantly, it makes you look like a giant flaming twat.

"'twas a really good movie. I love the spice girls." should never ever happen.
"'tis such a pain when my cellphone goes out of area." should come with a scarlet "A".

Let's all work together to stop being outrageous fuckheads trying to make ourselves seem more interesting than we are by employing trite Elizabethan language in lieu of actually BEING interesting or having actual writing talent.

Next Week... "Slash Fiction: Don't Let it Happen To You!"

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
diffrentcolours
Jun. 20th, 2005 02:03 pm (UTC)
Can we just ban Americans from trying to use Ye Olde English? I've yet to see one who can even bloody get "thee" and "thou" right. And people spraying "-est" onto the end of verbs like particularly inaccurate cluster bombs makes me see red also.
maddening
Jun. 20th, 2005 02:18 pm (UTC)
I forgot about the "thee"s and "thou"s... Seeing a 15 year old RP dork say things like "Thou Knowest..." is just as painful.

punkalicia
Jun. 20th, 2005 03:30 pm (UTC)
'esque' added to the end of things. ever since high school when a particularily irritating person did that NONSTOP, it gives me shudders up and down my spine.

i'll show you 'pine box-esque' goddamnit!
subbes
Jun. 20th, 2005 11:55 pm (UTC)
Cuh. Everyone knows it;s "thou knost."
sinisteragent
Jun. 20th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)
I say 'tis at times. Usually in agreement - "'tis a bit, yeah."

But I don't like all that fantasy nonsense, it's just a quicket, lazier way of say "it is" to me.

*hides*
maddening
Jun. 20th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
And you're not an American.

ankie
Jun. 20th, 2005 11:15 pm (UTC)
ROFL :) I know what you mean- I know someone (a dutch 22-yearold) who uses "ye" in every sentence. Ugh :( Don't rape other people's languages!!

"Next Week... "Slash Fiction: Don't Let it Happen To You!"

I'm looking forward to it already :) Someone else on my friendslist recently wrote a delicious rant about how everything gets slashed these days. :) Especially the comments to that entry are a fun read.
maddening
Jun. 21st, 2005 01:15 pm (UTC)
Ahhh... we used to mock this "Irishman" (who's ip traced nowhere but Canada) who did the same thing. "ye be" was his favorite I think. I guess pirate talk = Irish accent for most people.
mjfgates
Jun. 21st, 2005 12:02 am (UTC)
Thee babblest! 'Tis rightfulesque perfect good usage, marry.

maddening
Jun. 21st, 2005 01:16 pm (UTC)
I can't compete with that.
frobisher
Jun. 21st, 2005 06:22 am (UTC)
Can't we just have the renfest crowd all put to death? It would even be something we could do at the renfair!
maddening
Jun. 21st, 2005 01:18 pm (UTC)
Finally! A reason to go! There's a big ugly (I'm assuming... it is a renfaire) thing they do each year in Maryland that friends of ours want to go to EVERY year for all the laughing and pointing opportunities. We still haven't all gotten there. Now that there is a child to indoctrinate into the "hatin on the SCA freaks" ways we might have to. You know, to keep up our traditions!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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