A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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I like it when obituaries can't say "died"
It's great.
Because they get really creative..
going through the backlog of obituaries on thelocal paper's site I found some nice ones for ya.

CHESAPEAKE -- Beatrice Augusta Roughton Owens, 83, formerly of Taylor Road, entered into eternal rest on April 11, 2001. Bea, as she was affectionately known, was born in Columbia, N.C., on March 21, 1918. She was one of three children of Joseph Raymond Roughton and Sadie Snell Roughton.

CHESAPEAKE -- Vickie Myers Wharton, a loving mother, sister, grandmother, and friend to many, peacefully went to be with the Lord April 9, 2001, at Kate B. Reynolds Hospice Home.

VIRGINIA BEACH -- Betty D. Jones, 37, went to be with the Lord on Tuesday, April 10, 2001, after a long battle with cancer.

VIRGINIA BEACH -- A few days ago God in His infinite love and mercy walked among His garden and plucked a very special flower, thus calling one of His children, Clarence McLean, from labor to reward. Clarence Melvin McLean Jr. (Carlos) was born May 29, 1956, in Norfolk. His parents nurtured in him the significance of family love and compassion for mankind. This was indeed exemplified in Clarence's walk of life.

PORTSMOUTH -- Denise E. Oliver Green passed from this life April 7, 2001, at Riverside Health and Rehabilitation Center in East Hartford, Conn. She is the daughter of Velma H. Oliver Martin and the late George Muriel Oliver Sr.

VIRGINIA BEACH -- Retired U.S. Navy Capt. James Harry Campbell entered glory on Thursday, April 12, 2001.

VIRGINIA BEACH -- Gerald N. Sorey, 53, of Blackwater, went to be with the Lord on April 11, 2001, at his residence.

Went to be with the Lord...
that's a popular one..
and of course "passed away" is just too common to list as an odd one..
but it's still a nice-ing up and dumbing down.

And please... I'm making this plea.... please please don't anyone ever use my name and the word "predeceased" anywhere near each other.

And this one... I dunno why .. but there's just something about it...
I dunno if I like it or revile it... but that's rather how it goes with death, right?

Marie L. Straub
CHESAPEAKE -- Marie L. Straub, a most stupendous spirit, crossed over Saturday, July 7, 2001, leaving behind a loving soulmate, son, and many hearts touched by her essence.

A memorial service will be held at 2 p.m. Thursday in Norfolk Botanical Gardens. Loving Funeral Home, Churchland, is handling the arrangements.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests that memorial contributions be made to the Community Animal Project, 501 Front St., Norfolk, VA 23510. The memorial service is a celebration of Marie's life and the family requests colorful and casual attire.

"a most stupendous spirit"
I like that for some reason.

I like obituaries.
They're good reminders that I'm not the only one.
And they're sources of heartbreak.. like this one here for the little boy... 8 months old. Khalil. He died. They don't say why. He's just dead. No family listed. No mention of God's heavenly angels for him.
Just his death.
And when they'll be putting him in the ground.
Three little lines.
And just below... A.H. Bill Williams... Alfonzo Hollis "Bill" Williams, age 92.
And a lengthy listing of his trials and achievements.
A lot happens in 92 years, ya know.

I wanted to see Tom's obituary.
Cheryl wrote it though. And it would have just pissed me off. It should have just said "Tom Spencer, 25, of lands near and far, currently tanning his ass in California, isn't around anymore. Pick up your empties, thank your host, the party is over."

Or something like that.

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