A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

Mister questions has been replying to my mail a little the last couple days.
Not that I usually write him. I just realized I hadn't heard from him in a long time.
He said he'd been thinking about me.
I somehow still find a way to resent that.
Maybe I'll never just be his friend.
And maybe the fact that I can resent it, but not need to express it denotes progress.
I work a shitty shift tomorrow.
A manager took my schedule and butchered it.
I really don't care.
I mean .. I care... but I'm not stressing. I'm not angry.
I'm mellow.
That means I'm different. A year ago, that would have had me raging.
But as it is, it's just a fucking job. I just need the money. They could bump me down to cashier and if they were still paying me the same, I'd be fine.
It's just a fuckin job. ::shrug:: That's not just bullshit either. I really feel that way this time.
Mister Questions, of course, thinks I'm insane.
But he's always underestimated me.
I'm tired.
I didn't drink the coffee I wanted, and decided to hold off on the sobe.. I think I might want it tomorrow.
I'm in a very.... strange.... mood. I've been a little disjointed today. Not really connecting with the world on its terms. The email from Mister Questions isn't helping.

I think I'll ask mistah lovah lovah to call me.
That *always* makes me feel better and maybe I can get him laughing.

Ever stop to wonder if how you feel is really how you feel or just some strange collision of your hormonal levels and the odd chemicals ingested with your paltry diet?
I guess it really depends on how you define "feelings"

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