A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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So I still have an hour and a half before work.
Very weird to have so much time before going in. I work until midnight, have tomorrow off and then I work for six days straight because my manager *and* the one supervisor I can depend on are going on vacation. This next week is going to be fucking hideous. Just horribly hideous.
But after that, maybe, things will be okay. People will be around. And I can finally get down to work on fixing the problems and righting the wrongs. I'm more than capable of this crap. If they would just back off a little and let me do it, we'd be golden.
Tonight is Midnight Madness. The last one we'll be doing for awile.
I had huggy dreams. Dream moment after moment of just long hugs and laying my head on someone's chest.
I'm one lonely girl.
"searching for human contact in an overpopulated world"
how the hell does that happen.
Generally speaking I come into contact with more people in a day than the vast majority of people I know. I am right in the damned center of a huge maelstrom of humans. But I'm still obnoxiously alone.
I know why. I know I don't feel connected. How can you feel connected to people when all you see of them is this seedy consumer side? None of them are really ... whole when I see them, interact with them. They're just this built up amalgam of everything the advertisers and business people have made them. They need need need.
And they forget they're interacting with humans.
People complain about the lack of customer service that is evident when I store puts in Self Service registers.
It's because, though horrilbly expensive, in the long wrong they're cheaper and more efficent than humans and because they're finally what customers really want. An unthinking, unfeeling thing that will service them.
heh... that works both ways I think, applying to the machine and the customer using it.
People in the IT industry, especially anyone who's worked a help desk, refer to the idiots they have to help as "Users". It's a derogatory term
Where I work, the same bile is attached to the word "customer"

And believe me, most of you deserve it.

My human contact dreams leave me smiling and sad. I spend my day distracted by all that imagery. I don't know if I love it or hate it.
I think it's both.

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