A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

Farheim: So, I'm getting a boob job on Monday
ZeeVert: reduction or increase?
Farheim: Reduction
Farheim: They were like 36DD or something, I dunno
ZeeVert: wow.. you had a RACK
Farheim: Yeah, I had back problems
ZeeVert: I bet it was a bitch to job .. or uh .. see your feet..
Farheim: Yeah, the lower half of my body wouldn't get wet when I showered
ZeeVert: that could make for some fetid stuff there..
Farheim: Yep
Farheim: I had a whole layer of filth on me that to this day won't come off
ZeeVert: not even with steel wool?
Farheim: Hell, not even with arc welding
ZeeVert: that's some tenacious grime
Farheim: It grew a central nervous system and calls itself Jerry
ZeeVert: how does Jerry feel about your decision to take away his overhanging shelter/shade?
Farheim: He says he's going to unite with Tim, my backhair in a violent coup d'etate of my body
ZeeVert: damn dude... what the hell are you gonna do?
Farheim: I don't know...they've given their ultimatum already
Farheim: They want my pancreas
ZeeVert: bah,. it's just a pancreas...
ZeeVert: you gonna give in?
Farheim: Surely you're not talking about Phil that way
Farheim: Phil has always been the best pancreas a guy could ever had...
Farheim: I could never part with him, and Tim and Jerry know that
Farheim: THE BASTARDS
Farheim: My gizzard says he'll fight with me, as long as he gets 20 acres and a mule
ZeeVert: hmmm.. so .. hmm.. what are you going to do?
Farheim: Electrolysis for Tim
Farheim: For Jerry, well, maybe I'll just eat a lot of beans and piss him off with the odor
ZeeVert: he's sounds a lil like oscar the grouch.. you think you can piss him off with the odor? he might just like it
Farheim: Hmm
Farheim: Maybe I'll just bathe in Lysol or something
ZeeVert: try turpentine
ZeeVert: sure it'll burn... but that just lets you know it's working
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