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Just had pizza
very full
driking coffee
burning tongue
avoiding assholes

talked to Robert today.
He wanted me to meet him somwhere, I told him that I didn't really feel like it.
He told me it was because he was going home tomorrow.

I told him that I didn't really feel like it.

Have a nice flight.

nice knowing ya.

He said he'd write. I called him a liar. He didn't protest it.
He's just not cut out to be a father figure, he says.
And I hurt him.
By telling him he wasn't cut out to be a father either.
He asked if that would ever be forgiven. (he meant MY forgiveness)
And I said no. ( I meant TOM'S forgiveness)
He asked why.
And I pointed out that the only person who could have is dead.
He asked.. "well, what about you?"
"what about me?"
"well, you know I tried, right. I really tried a lot. I just... I can't do it."
"yes, I know that you're to selfish to be devoted to anything other than yourself. I hope for your sake that that changes at some point in your life. I just hope that you're not too old to be able to enjoy it. It'll be a bitch finding your heart at 90 years old."

And then he spewed a lot.
About my judgements, how they're off base, how they're hasty... how they're cruel.

and they probably are.
And I don't care.
I hate what he did to Tom.
I hate the way he bamboozled me.

I won't miss him.

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NewYorkNewYork
maddening
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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