I was zombie like, washed out, tired, achey, and just not with it at all.
Yes. That's something new.
shut up.
I dunno. I'm so annoyed by my life at the moment. I'm not where I want to be. I need to have some big long talks with someone, but well, he's made himself rather unavailable. Even a short lil talk would be acceptable. Just a little bit of anything.
I'm sad. I'm lonely is what the problem is. And it's not just a general sort of loneliness anymore. It's a very specific lonely. And that makes it worse.
So yes, I'm a pathetic whiner.
Good.
Sitting outside at work with a warm bit of sun on my face, that nice steady breeze and the first daytime temperatures below 78 we've had since last fall... all I could think was 'now'
'now is the time'
'right now'
'here'
why can't we choose our moments?
Why can't we just.... be when we want.
why can't I win the fucking lotto?