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Things I've learned today:

Five year olds never get tired of Rock Paper Scissors if you make sound effects.
The game of "Watch How Fast I Can Run" is actually very very involved.
Kids who giggle when they punch you will also refuse to leave you when their parents come to collect them.
Soccer parents are scary, neanderthalic bastards who will warp the fuck out of their kids.
That lil girl Emily is going to break her father's heart one day when she tells him to fuck off with his demands. She's only ten years old now, and takes orders well. But when she hits 14, he's going to be in a world of shit.
My neice is going to be the next Mia Haim.
The goalie has the most slack position on the team.
Soccer moms don't like it when you refer to their kid as "the nose picker"
Kids don't rest at half time. They have water fights.
I will never make my kid participate in organized competitive sports.
Cell phones are still more important than the excellent pass the kid made.
Soccer parents are scary, neanderthalic bastards who will warp the fuck out of their kids.
The biggest compliment you can get from a guy (if he's five) is "No, daddy, I'm going home with HER!" followed by a rolling on the ground hissy fit.
Soccer parents are scary, neanderthalic bastards who will warp the fuck out of their kids.
I really like kids.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
azmatiq
Oct. 13th, 2001 03:49 pm (UTC)
Hmmm. Maybe I'll have to try that rolling on the ground hissy fit thing come the 5th, huh? ;)
bightchee
Oct. 13th, 2001 05:27 pm (UTC)
Parents really can be rediculously overprotective sometimes.....
Soccer moms don't like it when you refer to their kid as "the nose picker" >>>

My sister got mad at me for this:

maddening
Oct. 13th, 2001 05:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Parents really can be rediculously overprotective sometimes.....
He IS so cute he could be evil....

GET THE BOY A TISSUE.
I realize they like the snot and all but JEEEZE
ex_keithm723
Oct. 13th, 2001 05:37 pm (UTC)
I spent four hours today refereeing youth soccer, and god damnit I wanted to punch parents soooo many times. One of the parents was a cop, he fucking rolled right up to the field in his cruiser.(instead of parking it in the parking lot)
This mother fucker had a gun strapped around his leg! I've never seen that before, one gun in the holster and one strapped to his thigh...And then as me and my coworker chatted between games he strolled by and said "I'm watching you two." I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I thought he was gonna shoot me with the leg strap. ::shrug::
Police states suck

"Soccer parents are scary, neanderthalic bastards who will warp the fuck out of their kids."
I agree whole-heartedly
peace

maddening
Oct. 13th, 2001 05:43 pm (UTC)
ya know I have to meet ya sometime next week, right?
I'll be in the area from the 20th through the 5th... so there has just got to be a meet up.
ex_keithm723
Oct. 14th, 2001 12:34 am (UTC)
WHIRRED
I'm totally down to meet up. Now that I'm not working my schedule is wide the fuck open. I'll see what I can do to represent with the 2-oh-sickness, herbals. I have access to a car too so if you need a ride somewhere just holla at me.
I email you my info.
peace
frobisher
Oct. 13th, 2001 09:34 pm (UTC)
Well, duh. Kids rock.
disarrayed
Oct. 14th, 2001 04:14 pm (UTC)
I'm gonna be a scary parent that actually cheers for my kid(s?), but I'm not force them into shit. I am, however, gonna make them skate though. Katybug (my niece( has taken quite a liking to punk music and watching me play Tony Hawk/watching X-Games, so she's gonna rawk.
maddening
Oct. 14th, 2001 05:14 pm (UTC)
These people don't cheer.
They demand.
"Emily! Get in there and get in front of the ball! GO IN THERE AND DO IT!"
"GET TO THE CORNER"
"GO AFTER IT"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MOVE MOVE MOVE!"
Not a 'good job' or 'go kid' amoung the screaming. Just coaching and reprimand.
disarrayed
Oct. 15th, 2001 06:20 pm (UTC)
Re:
Shit, the only demand the Bug'll get from me is "KICK THAT FUCKTART'S ASS!#@" rawr.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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