A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

So she said some horrible things. She tried really hard to say everything she could think of that would make me run. Make me believe her. She was level headed. She sounded so calm and sane. She really tried to sell it.
But you can't tell me that someone I've been that comfortable around is capable of the things she wants me to believe.
I've had a hideous fucking history with men. Just about every man who has been in my life has fucked with my head, hurt me, beat me, or molested me in some way shape or form. Well, no that's not true.
Up until a few years ago, that was true.
I've learned.
I've seen every stripe of abuse you can imagine. I know every pain and pang. And I know that there is no way in hell that this person that I am so utterly enamoured with is capable.
There's just no way.
It's not denial.
It's just not conceivable.
And ... I really hate her for it.
I really hate that she tried to do that to me. To him. That she just couldn't stand his happiness. That she had to try to poison it by poisoning me.

She gets no victories.
She gets no niceness.
She gets no understanding.
She attempted to hurt me in a very real and decisive way.
And that's just not forgiveable.

I'm still angry. I'll probably be angry for awhile. But she threw a boomerang.
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