May 25th, 2001

NewYorkNewYork

VAGINA!

I'm making a list of allllll the alternative names for the vagina that I can think of. Add to it, por favor.
Check the comments
NewYorkNewYork

PENIS!

And yes, I'm making a list of allllll the alternative names for the penis.
check the comments. please add to it, yo.
NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

Everytime he sends me one, I have to post it.
AND THE GADDAMN IDIOT NEXT DOOR IS BASSING HIS CAR AGAIN.
I cannot get it through to Mark that that makes me feel ill.
"No, really mark, it's nausea causing. I'm not asking you to turn it off. I'm just asking you to up the treble. make it actual MUSIC ya know?"
"you just don't like my music."
"Well, you're right that I'm not too fond of this bland ass shit you listen to. Go get some ODB and some lil kim and some dmx and hell, go old school and get some funkmaster flex. You can't let your kids listen to most of it, but you'll be a better man for it. Besides, when I'm sittin in the house it's ALL bass. No music at all. So you could be listening to appalachian banjo music and it would still be fuckin annoying."
"nah, I think you just don't like my music"


GAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NewYorkNewYork

My father works on a Naval Base

So he gets these things pretty much constantly.
And he usually shares.
I wasn't going to post this but after sending it to Mistah Lovah Lovah, he said I had to post it and we all know I am the epitome of obedience.



I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor, I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not alwyas follow the orders of the management team
you do not stay in your allocated potision, and often visit other areas.
You do not take initiative- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
You'll retire well before reaching 65.
You're unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
And if that were not all, you have been seen contrantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management