June 23rd, 2001


I think I'm officially bored.

Still can't get ut to load right.
thinking about loading up quake3 even though I never really dug it (and what the hell is the point of quake3 if you're on dial up? hmmmm?) But I'm strangely wired.
Because I know I only have a lil left in "Mall" (by Eric Bogosian) and I don't want to read it yet.
I'm hoping someone will pop back up online.
yes. someone in particular.
hmmm.. I'm wondering if that's a good thing though.
because, well.. yeah .. I talk to him all the time and really gad damned dig it.. but I don't know if it's "wise" to do, ya know?
Because.. attachments get strange.
I don't know. Just some more of my emotional crap trying to bury myself in the sand.

and I'm very very scattered.
Have been all day.
Talked to andres for a good long while though. That was interesting. Even though we didn't really do that whole.. simultaneous talking thing that we usually do.
that was probably because I was scattered, and he was annoyed I think.
did this really interesting birth chart thing with andres, mistah lovah lovah and I'll have to do one with jason too now that I think about it... hmmmm..
signed up for earthlink.
gotta cancel the other isp though and I don't feel like calling and dealing with them tonight. besides, they're gonna wonder why I don't sound like an older man.
I could always fake it.
I might be able to sound like a man if I tried.
talked to dan today.
gave him the whole sean story.
took his keys away from him before I told him.
I know him too well.
i thought *he* was gonna beat me up just to get to his keys..
why is it....
you tell someone about an altercation, scuffle, so forth, they immediately want to flow into it and kick ass... but if you come back to them a week later, they're all mellow and complacent about it.
if you are so sure of yourself that you're willing to run off and beat the crap out of someone, wouldn't you still be utterly willing a week later? I would think you'd be MORE willing because you've now had a week to stew.

I dunno.
I just can't stand having these people jump to 'defend my honor'
it's bullshit.

so yeah .. that's basically it. ladee frickin da... right?


Rhett: ::::radio click:::::
Me: uhm
Rhett: Ah, Houston: we have a Holly. Over.
Me: hahah

(no subject)

Rhett: How is my little suspended ceiling tile?
Me: ::grin::
Me: I'm okay
Rhett: That is good to hear, my flight from Tokyo of cuteness.
Me: stoppit!
Me: hahah
Rhett: I am sorry, my aunt who died last week from laughing at Pauly Shore. Am I making you uncomfortable, my wig made from paintchips?
Me: you're feelin your wheaties today
Rhett: I'm feeling something, my pop-tart of blonde lovin'.

ya know

my father is insane.

And my sister is insane.

and *I* am probably insane.

so why does it surprise me to really look at him and see that he is totally off the edge.
he's not even trying to pull himself up anymore.
he's just dangling there, enjoying the breeze.
fucking lunatic.

(no subject)

my ankle is aching.
this is what I get
for running across the wet grass
jumping around like an idiot.
and forgetting about the hole

I'm stupid, but I'm *fun*!

quizzy type thingy do

Good thing I stole.
Stole this from
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Good thing I stole.
Stole this from <ljuser= renwick>
you can get it<a href="http://quizbox.com/personality/test82.htm">Here</a>
<br>. it's very quick.
<b>Here is your analysis</b>

<b>Your view on yourself</b>

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener; they'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

<b>The type of girl/boyfriend you are looking for.</b>

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

<b>Your readiness to commit to a relationship.</b>

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

<b>The seriousness of your love.</b>

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

<b>Your views on education</b>

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

<b>The right job for you.</b>

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important; find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

<b>How do you view success?</b>

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Do not give up when you have not even started yet! Be courageous!

<b>What are you most afraid of?</b>

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

<b>Who is your true self?</b>

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.
some of this is spookily accurate.

(no subject)

Little whore on the fingerhut banner MOCKING ME.
grinning white toothed freak
hugging your pillow
fingerhut succubus.
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