October 4th, 2001

NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

AzmatiQ: Sorry it took so long, had to take a poooooop before I went and smoked.
ZeeVert: you poop a lot
AzmatiQ: I do n... ok well maybe I do.
AzmatiQ: But you pee WAY more than anyone poops.
AzmatiQ: ... and I've heard you fart.
ZeeVert: I probably would have heard you fart too if you didn't use that damn mute button so much
AzmatiQ: Nope, I have a quiet ass.
AzmatiQ: They're like navy seal farts.
AzmatiQ: Silent... sneaky bastards.
  • Current Music
    Outkast - So Fresh, So Clean
NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

Bombs over bagdhad.... Dammit I love this song...
and you know, ... YOU KNOW....
If I got out of my way to keep you up to date on my life, at least have the courtesy to reply to my emails with at LEAST an "okay" to let me know you read it.
I just don't chase after people and make them pay attention to me. If you aren't listening, then don't listen, but don't act like you're interested and then repeatedly fail to follow through

just bitchin
  • Current Music
    Outkast - B.O.B. (Bombs Over Baghdad)
NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

Buttmint: Ever want a dangerous, foreign-sounding name?
ZeeVert: like what?
Buttmint: "La Rabia Rubia"
ZeeVert: uhm.. no
Buttmint: Why not?
Buttmint: I think that's pretty damn cool for just having made that up.
ZeeVert: because it sounds like "labia"
NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

I'm feeling very "Holly sucks" today in a lot of different ways.
I guess I'll need more coffee...
I should clean.
some portabello ravioli would be really good right about now.
I wish I could make Rhett feel okay. But, well, I suck at that. It's always obvious that I'm going out of my way to make someone feel better... and it's always ephemeral.
spinning plates on sticks only spin while you're running between them, working diligently.

I wonder how jason is. Not enough to seek him out again. I've learned my lesson there. It's just idle curiosity. I wonder if he got on unemployment, found a job. I wonder if he finally went through with all this threats and killed himself. I wonder if that person I was with for two years is okay. No matter how bad or how good it could be here and there, it was still a fucked up two years and it changed me in a lot of ways.
It made me unlearn a lot of learned trust. And it made me know, not think, but know, that I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I thought possible.
I have to wonder if there was anyway that things could have worked out well. I have to wonder if it was possible in there at some point for the right word, or a different tone to have changed something. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't havve. I'm pretty sure that I tried every route. Even out and out lying. Even total honesty.
I know I mind fucked him. But I also told him repeatedly that I would.
I wonder why no one ever heeds that warning?
Do they really think that "I will screw with your head" is a danger sign that applies to everyone else? that they are so much more with it and capable and special than all those other people who've seen the truth?

bah. Pointless questions.

the door upstairs keeps on flapping open and closed with the air pressure changes in the house from my window being just slightly open. So I hear it open and close a little here and there. And every time I expect steps. Its the middle of the day and I'm playing paranoid.
I should buy tickets today. Just take the plunge and buy them.
But ...gah... $400 ?
it's worth it of course... but just to go out and come back?


I'm sorry I haven't been nicer.
NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

I hit random... I end up with someone in va beach.
I hit random again... I end up with someone else in va beach .

I'm afraid to do it a third time.... So now I'm just gonna go read another book.
NewYorkNewYork

(no subject)

anyone who lists "starbucks" as an interest ...
and "Michael Chrichton"
and "german rap"
and tells you that if you use 'slang or ebonics in your eyeverday language' you shouldn't talk to them...

I found this person...

And OF COURSE he lives here.
why why why are there so many pretentious teenage dorks in my area?
Are all teenagers like this? Did I miss something in high school when I spent all that time not paying attention?
Are any of these kids anything more than houses of cards?