November 28th, 2001


(no subject)

Been looking for this post.
I even un custom friends entried it.

i'm not sure why I did it in the first place.

I'm feeling very.. no one out in cyberland gives a fuck anyway... tonight.
So I don't care who sees anymore.
And yeah, I edited my friends list.
If you don't like it... bite me.
if you think I was somehow MEAN in taking you off of it... well.. go ahead and state your reasons.
If I find myself scrolling past your journal all the time.. that's why you're gone.

(no subject)

"i'm dying to get inside your mind... "

I had to read it several times before I could stop staring. I just don't believe it. Why the hell do I get that line so often? "I want to find out what makes you tick"
clockwork, like everyone else...

Well that just kicks a lot of ass

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<br \>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<img src="" title="I am Charles Manson"><br \><a href="">Which Evil Criminal are <i>You</i>?</a>

::does the lil spooky hands:::

But the graphic is WRONG.

Charles Manson isn't a serial killer. It annoys me when he gets lumped in with them. He's a lil freak.. he may or may not have told people to go kill... and he MIGHT have killed one dude way back on his own...but the murders for which he became famous... he NEVER COMMITED ANY OF THEM.
Therefore... he cannot be a serial killers.
Serial killers kill more than 3 people over a period of time with the same general MO, with a cooling off period in between killings, and they'll *usually* (but certainly not always) have a ritualized method, either before or after the murder.

Doesn't fit manson at all.

He's just a cult leader.

(no subject)

OH .. Oh wow... you're a mall metal kiddie.
angst rock-lite.
alternative enough to scare your mommy.
but still mainstream enough to appear on TRL.

::thumbs up:::

maintaining the bullshit pop success.

I should...

I should be studying my A+ book. But I feel instantly dumb when I open the cover. Not stupid, just dumb. Like someone's smacked me over the head with a lead sap. "conforms to the skull, delivering a more solid hit"
Drinking more coffee. I need the speed in my head.
Chad points out my ADD like symptoms whenever they pop up. The unfinished projects, the odd way that words hit my brain, the random thoughts that really do come from something I read or saw but I just didn't consciously register it... it's good that I think I might know where a chunk of my ...oddness... comes from. And it's good that I could probably be diagnosed and given drugs. So I could sell them to someone else.
Or, I *could* actually use them. Amps make me feel focused (another ADD thing) they make me feel level and calm and clear headed. That could come in handy, but probably rob me of my ability to do way too many things at once. I always work best when overwhelmed. An ex saw me at work once and actually said "you're really dynamic," giving me one of his corporate learned 'think outside the box', mission statement buzzwords.
But he meant well.
I'm not feeling as disconnected and sad today. But it'll return. It's just how things go.
Today, I'm feeling very internalized again. Very enamoured of the sound of my own voice in my head. This is making it hard to really ... relate to my surroundings.
It's the fog.
That's why the ADD thing is popping up. That cottony, thick feel in my mind.
I'm hoping my father can snag a pc from the base. They throw out hundreds of them every day. Just toss them out. It'll get worse as they start to implement the NMCI ... or uh.. whatever it is. They're going to have to upgrade all their recent upgrades..
Lil trivia for you.... building #W143 on the norfolk naval base is the second largest building owned by the US Navy.
It's where they're installing the east coast portion of the navy marine... something.. internet. My brother's one thrilled little geek boy about getting to work on it. He's technically in the customer service portion of his company, but he's made friends with everyone on the tech side and is considered 'one of them' more than he is one of the smarmy CS reps. I spent a lil over a hundred dollars on geek books for him last night... on *3* books.
Count em... *3*
I think that's what I'm going to hate the most about this direction I'm taking... the literature is just too damned expensive unless you're actually making decent bank in the field.
Rambling. I'm rambling.
I want to play with photoshop for awhile longer today. I want to find hosting that isn't Chad's server. I feel like I'm taking advantage of his web space. Well, actually, I don't have the motivation to find hosting on my own. Heh... so I'll just keep using his space.
The pictures I took in seattle encouraged me toward the idea that the whole art side of things that I abandoned years ago because I couldn't draw is a possibilty. My mom complimenting the composition... that's what did it I think. I've always loved photography, Tom was always pushing me to take the initiative and just do it... but with his skills and my grandfather having been an excellent photographer, I just felt it would be one big joke. A big JOKE that *I* would get into that.
My lack of confidence is always the thing that kills my ambition.
I know this
I find no comfort in *knowing* where I'm fucked up.

(no subject)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21)

This week's counsel is designed to help you take advantage of the fresh, hot prospects that are materializing right before your eyes. First we turn to one of the richest painters who ever lived, Pablo Picasso. "I am always doing that which I cannot do," he bragged, "in order that I may learn how to do it." Next let's hear what ancient Greek philosopher Socrates has to tell you about the attitude you should assume during this pregnant moment. "The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." To complete your oracle, Sagittarius, we call on French novelist Marcel Proust. "The real voyage of discovery," he wrote, "consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."


(no subject)

I am 41-60% Ghetto

I have ghetto roots, but I don't live in the hood. Fo Shizzle my Nizzle.

Is it wrong that I love snoop?

Ho HO!

(no subject)

I'm feeling lonely and bored.
I'm occupying myself my tweaking photos and playing with filters.
And I'm talking to peple... so I'm not actually 'alone'

I just feel that way.


Which means that it's from this side of things.

Which means I'm feeling broken.