December 22nd, 2001


(no subject)

decorated the tree, decorated the mantle...

no mean feat.

my mother has over 50 santas and far too many ornaments to count. Me and wendy did the mantle in an hour. usually takes my mom all DAMNED DAY

she just really hasn't been feeling herself... she needed some attention and help tonight

(no subject)

Made myself a lil sick with a cherry tobacco cigar.
Made myself a lil sick with bubbling over outrage earlier.
Made myself a lil sick with just how easy it comes to me to be scathing and hurtful.

Too much introspection for me.

But I want to make this clear.

Comment or don't comment.
I don't care.
But unless I ask, I'm not asking.
Not here.
This is rant space. Throw in if you like, it's welcome. really.
I may scratch and bite, but they're shallow and free from poison. They'll heal up just fine.
No pleas for help, no calls for sympathy.
That's not what i'm doing here.

I'm having a rough time with things and i'm going to be doing a lot of spewing. If I don't do it here, it stays in my life more than I want it to and it slowly poisons everything.
There's enough rancor and decay going on as it is...please leave me the ability to be honest in text.

That said.
I need to say publically... NO HARD FEELINGS.
No anger. No bile. No pain.
I'm not just one more dumping on you. I'm just me, being as honest as I can be.

(no subject)

So.. because the other ASSHOLE got my bottles.. hehe ...
I found other ones.

Not really as nice.. but it's hard to tell from the picture because the seller decided to take the pic up against multi-colored wall paper.

I was really ... disheartened... but that other auction going to someone else. Just because I didn't get up early enough to get in a bid before it closed. I can only take joy in knowing that they were hoping to pay under $5 and ended up paying over $20 to outbid me.
Heh.. I know it isn't personal.. I was just really hoping to get them. If it had been for me, I'd have just chalked it up to bad luck. But it wasn't. And I'm feeling very crappy at the moment. Got myself a sweet lil migraine working. So I'm less than my best at the moment.
I spewed out way to many things in that email response to subliminalis but I just needed it understood that I'm not sitting here WHINING for attention or assistance. That if I were, there are so many other things I could be whining about. Why was this so important? I'm just not sure.
I get offended when people tell me what to do and how to be. I get offended when they misunderstand what's really going on and don't take me at my word. I get offended when anyone decides to treat me like a child. Mainly because I've never felt like a child. Of course, when we're 14, we've *all* got the world completely figured out, don't we? Petty, childish, immature... I don't care. I said what I felt I had to say. If that makes me wrong... it won't be the first time and I know it won't be the last. I'm GOOD at being wrong. I've had lots of practice.