November 22nd, 2002


(no subject)

I decided to follow through and read the reviews done by a certain idiot on imdb.
They change their name and location for every comment. It's really weird, but it's the same email adress and it's the same idiotic, rambling, plot summarizing, self important style in each one.
They think American Beauty was utter crap, they were disappointed at how *soft* "lovey dovey" American Pie was.
They felt the need to write a plot summary of Tatie Danielle, when all you really need to know is what the tagline says. "She doesn't know you, but she hates you already".

Think "maxine" from those hallmark cards.... but make her actually *mean* ... and make her really ENJOY being mean.

anyway, I was going to go see Punch Drunk Love today, but since the bond flick came out, the theatre here isn't showing it anymore. The one theatre that *is* showing it has only one show, at a weird time, and it's the ghetto theatre that I really dislike.
So yeah.
Now the only thing on my agenda for the day is finish the last 20 minutes of Snake in the Eagle's Shadow, drop off the rentals, pick up my check, and probably watch Harry and some more of the photography features on the Seven dvd.

I'm just... keeping my head down... avoiding conflict.
Keeping my mouth shut becuase I'm tired of bringing other people misery through my own issues/unhappiness/needs.

This is where I make a self-deprecating joke about painting myself the martyr that I'm not.

(no subject)

I ended up seeing Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets today. It's uh ... what you'd expect and stuff. ::nods::
I actually feel a little weird adding to the movie revenues on that, but well... I think about things like that.

I've felt like utter crap the last few days. Not physically. It's just the onset of usual holiday depressive things plus exhaustion plus the (now usual) feeling of having no friends.
It always unfortunate that you can't know everyone at the best point in their life. Lord knows I've ruined quite a few friendships and relationships by just not being in the best of places in my life. It's just *hard* on people because they don't know your history, they've never known you at your best. They have to just take your word that there's a better, happier, less tortured side of you... they just have to stick around for it.
Most people won't stick around for it.

The sad thing is... I think I'm peaking. I look the best I've looked, I feel the best I've felt, and I think I handle things better than I have before. So ... my peak is rather lackluster. I'm wishing (as usual) that there was someone around to appreciate it. Just some friends, not a relationship. I'm still in a state of "given up" regarding men. The ones I think I want are bad for me or don't want me. The one I don't want... well, they're necessarily disasters because I just don't want them.

Frankly, I've yet to meet a man who wasn't so utterly fucked up in one way or another that they're only a torture to the women they get involved romatically with. Yes, even those of you who are my friends, the ones I love dearly too... you're all fucking crazy and you aren't worthy of about half the people who give a shit about you.

And don't get me started on the women.

Got my other two netflix movies... picked up my schedule... Thanksgiving is coming and Christmas is 5 saturdays away.
I'll be broke soon as I'm determined to give presents this year.

I'm a miserable, cranky, bitter bitch. And sometimes, those are my good qualities. Sometimes I'm unfair and outlandish and rude and needlessly emotional.
But if I like you ... I like you more than most people in this world are fucking capable of.

Soppy Holly.