May 24th, 2007


The bad old days

I was looking for some stuff I'd written here and there and was going back through the journal to find it. I have absolutely no sense of time so I was having a hard time figuring out when things happened. Like... I thought it was much more recently that I talked to Jay (AutoKaotik from the Random Game from those of you who are old timers like that) but apparently I last talked to him sometime in '02. That sucks because I actually miss him sometimes and wonder how he's doing. If you have any idea where he is or how he is let me know?

Reading through anything from earlier than around May or June of 2002 is just painful. I don't like who I was, how I expressed myself, and all the constant whining. It's the kind of thing that, if I were to stumble across it, I would really hate the person. And the thing is - I don't remember half of what I was so upset about. I know I was really depressed for a good chunk of time there, but how often could I repeat how crappy I felt? In all of the 6 or 7 entries I made every day. Pretty cringe-worthy and uncomfortable.

I read all this angry vitriol at people and have no recollection of why I was so mad. I see me talking about how I'm going to change things and be better only to follow up not 1/2 an hour later with another overwrought outpouring.

I'm honestly embarassed by the "me" that wrote that stuff.

But it has done a nice job of proving out my own personal evolution from that to this. I FEEL so much better than I did then. So much so that it's hard to feel that that person has any actual connection to me - that's how different they are from who I am now. It feels like reading through a stranger's journal. A really angry, fucked up, whiney stranger's journal.
  • Current Music
    Depeche Mode - The Love Thieves

(no subject)

We watched a couple movies again over the last couple days. We saw The Return, which has to be one of the most wildly mis-marketed movies of the last 5 years. Even the poster screams "this is a ghost/dead people movie". It would be more aptly described as a mystery, not a horror film. I think that they went out of their way to market this as a horror film because Geller had just done that remake of The Grudge and because studios are getting more and more out of touch with their audiences.

Was it great? No. But it was creepy and effective. There were plot holes and things that were definitely just put there as devices without any real... reason... Nothing stunning, nothing I'm recommending you run right out and see, but definitely not a bad movie at all.

We also watched What Lies Beneath
because Karl had never seen it and I last saw it in theaters. I ended up seeing it because my mom has some weird Michelle Pfeiffer obsession. Like.. she honestly believes Michelle Pfeiffer hasn't had a ton of face work done.

Anyway - it also was marketed as more of a horror movie and it just isn't. Some of the things in the movie are really really effective (glimpses here and there, subtle little things scattered throughout). Again - it's not the best movie in the world, but it's not bad either. It's entertaining, creepy, gripping, and honestly chilling in spots. The trailers for this movie were some of the first to use that "speeding things up to make them spookier" thing. And it's just not that sort of movie. I think it's really underrated. I think that people ignored it because of the cast or were disappointed because it wasn't an out and out horror movie.

The funny thing is that my reaction to this has changed so much since the first time I saw it in 2000. Mostly the characterization. And it isn't just because I know the whole plot... I really saw the characters as vastly different people the first time I saw this. So that's neat.

We still have Switchblade Sisters, Abre Los Ojos, and Barbarella to watch. I've seen Barbarella a billion times but Karl hasn't seen it in a very long time. Thinking maybe we'll have to do a Switchblade Sisters/Barbarella double feature this weekend.

Depeche Mode haven't lost it.

And by "it" I mean the ability to make a song incredibly gloomy and romantic at the same time. Flies on the Windscreen is a good example. They literally say that they're "lambs for the slaughter" as a way of saying "we're all about to die, so lets get it on now, sweetie". So goth. And I mean "goth", not whatever passes for goth these days.

This is a great example:
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So - I'm old, falling to pieces, but being with you helps me forget that for a few minutes. Nice, Martin Gore. Thanks.

I'm a posting freak today because I'm talkative and Karl's at work. And I haven't posted regularly in a long time so there's all this random stuff bubbling out. So the few of you who still read this are getting flooded with all my random-ness.

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Karl just reminded me of stuff.

this Saturday we'll be seeing Louis C.K. at the Improv in DC. And on June 2nd we'll be attending the HBO Comedy Hour taping for lil Jimmy Norton. The mail about it actually asks you to "dress sharp" hehehe

The cats have decided they don't like their food. So they aren't eating it. Instead they spent the ENTIRE night last night walking all over me. I slept intermitently until about 5 this morning when they finally pissed me off so much I couldn't get back to sleep. Thankfully I think they focused the annoyance on me instead of Karl so he still got a little sleep... until I woke him up accidentally.
Maybe that's why I'm so cracked out today. Just a simple lack of sleep.

I sort of randomly MySpace encountered an old friend from high school. He's the person who got me to listen to Primus and gave me a nickname that sort of stuck. Well, okay... *he* used it. He was always super cool and one of the few people I can think of from High school that it would be cool to still be in contact with. A lot of the people I hung out with day to day back then aren't really the kind of people I dig on these days. Like... I'd still like to find out what happened to my friend Chuck. Beyond that and beyond mild curiosity I can't think of other people I'm really into getting back to knowing.

I don't really have high school ennui or some romanticized version of events, so maybe I don't have that need to get back in touch with everyone because I remember exactly how dumb, silly, banal, etc. we all were (me included).

I dunno - how many of you have or would in the future hook up in a reunion type thing for your high school or college?