July 31st, 2007

Contortionist Girl

(no subject)

Alright. I'm gonna just admit it. Out loud.

My teeth really hurt.

I pushed down my anxiety long enough to make an appointment today for the dentist. I've had a couple of cavities that I've honestly just been ignoring. And a wisdom tooth coming in at entirely the wrong angle. But it's been "coming in" for over 5 years now. The last time I was at the dentist they were drilling and filling a very tiny little cavity I had. I was so good about regular check ups and such with them so they caught it very early on. I have shitty cavity prone teeth. I just always have. ANYWAY - they couldn't really get me completely numb. Even after stopping and giving me another shot... I still felt the drilling. And at that point I just wanted it over so I just... dealt with it.

Apparently that's left more of an emotional weight than I thought. I hyperventilated today after I got off the phone with the dentist's office. Just completely wigged out. And I'm probably not actually going to be okay with it until I'm out of that office. And then... I'll probably drink. And I have until Monday to stew on it and make it all feel worse than it actually is.

I'm going to try not to be a psycho about it. I've been feeling stupidly awesome lately. So I think that this level of freak out is probably... what was "normal everyday" level of freekout a few weeks ago. I mean... I've been feeling like I imagine normal people feel. Heh. So it sucks to feel that normal and good but have your face hurt every day.

Blaaah. This whole "taking care of yourself" thing is sort of annoying.