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Things I realize ....


Frank has dropped off the face of the earth again. He's probably in jail. And Mike.. heh.. Mike is a hopeless one. After all the shit he's done (just out an out being a shit, following me to work and harassing me LOUDLY there, expecting things that he's got no right to expect) after everything that I've done (I spent 3 months doing nothing but taking care of him when I didn't have to and wasn't asked and was NEVER thanked)
he actually called the other day and tried to guilt me into giving him money.
He's been blowing money that isn't his yet. Yes, the judgement was for him. Yes, the defendant is obligated to pay up... but the defendant is a semi-wealthy lawyer with lots of lawyer friends who will fight it as long as he can and that is a very very long time.
So he actually got up the balls to call me and ask for at *least* $50, he was hoping for $100, and when I said no, he just started in on the 'you're just a selfish, self centered bitch' stuff again.

I don't self aggrandize. I don't overstate my good points.. fuck... most of the time I can't even find anything nice to say about myself at all..
But the fact is, I gave up 3 months for that shithead because I honestly thought he was worth it.
I spent a month and a half, everyday for as long as they would let me, sitting in the hospital and comforting him everytime he woke up and didn't know where he was.
I spent longer than that taking him out and walking with him and helping him use his hand and bathing him, dressing him, feeding him.
Because of all that... a direct result... I contracted meningitis.
I went totally broke.
I had to rely on someone else to pay my medical costs..
I had two different spinal taps (and trust me, if you've never had one... I can tell you that one in a lifetime is more than enough)
And as a not so direct result, I got the shit beaten out of me by Sean.
It was the staying over there all the time that caused the tensions in the house that caused Sean's hurt feelings that caused me to be a target when he stopped taking the meds and couldn't hold it together anymore.

yes.. that's stretching.
But no more of a stretch than Mike still being angry at me that I haven't made up with Sean.
I don't care that he wasn't in his right mind. I don't care that he was in the middle of an 'episode' and wouldn't have done what he did if he'd been medicated.
He came over to my house, led me out of it, and beat me.
HE BEAT ME IN THE STREET
And he left me there in the middle of the road.

I can't just forgive that.
It's not okay.
Sean seems to understand this.
Tim seems to understand this.
Mike doesn't

And Mike can fuck way off.
I'm at that severing point. I give everyone under the sun thousands of chances. Hell, I even went out of my way to make sure Sean knew that I wasn't still angry or scared of him, just still a little shakey about how to know him.
But Mike is done.
Or rather, I am done with him.

I saw him tonight. That's what brings this all up. He drove past my house while I was outside talking to the neighbor kid who flipped out earlier.
Thomas lives next door and apparently does not want to be sent to Green Run High School next year. He expressed this by destroying a bookshelf with a 10 lbs sledgehammer out in front of his house while screaming 'fuck' over and over.
He's got anger issues.
And Mike drove by.
5 different times.
real slow. Staring.

fucking psychotic fuck head.

Comments

maddening
Nov. 12th, 2001 08:30 am (UTC)
Well, sure. But it would still be nice to know what form it would take, were it in cash.

I'm not asking for like... a total or anything. Even I am not that silly.

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maddening
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