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"I am a sincere single male in Virginia looking for something more in life. I am pretty new to the area and work friends is all I know. I am looking for someone that is female that is willing to get to know me. I'm a great friend to all and pretty nice. I have been told that I am somewhat attractive, but also been told that I am kind at heart. I know that those two don't usually go hand and hand. I enjoy life to the fullest and want to try new things when possible. I have been through a lot in life and want to put it behind me and start out a new life. I am looking for a friendly relationship that will hopefully grow to something more. I am also looking to do a little dating and get around to meet people. If you are interested give me a chance and I will not try to disappoint you. Thanks."

He's looking for someone who is female.

"I'm putting out a world wide web bulletin to get everyone's help. You see, I've lost my smile. I'm not really myself without it. I have a couple leads that give me hope that it may have been found, including a vague description. She appears to be between 26 and 36 years old, but may appear younger than her age. She's around 5'7" (I am 6'), not a bbw, but doesn't live at the gym either. She has high-maintenance looks with a down-to-earth attitude, values, and personality. She loves rock & roll and may be found at concerts. I have conflicting reports that she's either a blonde or a brunette. She's intelligent with her own career and not dependent on someone to support her. If this person can be found, I can offer a reward of lifetime devotion, long, slow kisses that last for days, midnight massages, a partner that loves to cook and doesn't mind sharing in the household chores, someone to wash your back, a shoulder to lean on, and someone who will hold you at night. If you think you may have found my smile, please e-mail me as I really need it to be myself. Thanks. "

I think his smile is going to go missing for a good long while...

"Are you an older women caving passion? Do you lust for a younger man? I'm looking to date an older women(30-60). On a date with me, I like to start out with dinner and danceing. After a few drinks I like to take the date back to her house, sit and talk over a botttle of wine. After a couple glasses of wine i like to retire to the bed room, where we will make love all night long... If you are interested in a night like this please respond to this add "

Ooh OOh! I CAVE passion! And I always respond to ADD.

maybe I should write him.. .

"hello, my name is mike, i am 23 years old, wiegh around 185 lbs and in process of losing weight, i have brown hair, and hazel eyes. i work full time, and love to live life to the fullest. i work hard, and play harder. i normally go out as much as possible, i often hang out on the penninsula on the weekends. i am extremely open minded, and not much bothers me. i absolutely hate drama, and dont care for mind games, (i get enough of that at work.) if i sound interesting to you, then drop me a line or two. oh yeah, the pic is an old one, i now have hair, and wiegh about 20 lbs less. "

the top of this one was entitled "here chicky chicky chicky"
and lists his marital status as 'happily married'

I need to quit looking at these things.. it's feeding my misanthropy


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 17th, 2001 06:37 pm (UTC)
I'm lucky. I think my misantrhopy passed away a while back. Probably from being overfed...
Nov. 18th, 2001 12:15 pm (UTC)
You've still got it in you to be a misanthrope, Dave. Don't give up hope.
Nov. 18th, 2001 03:31 pm (UTC)
You really think so? That's really sweet.

Now go to hell you miserable anthropic person!

(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2001 12:16 pm (UTC)
They make me feel lethargic. They make me never want to do anything again, because, what's the point when we're this pathetic?
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 18th, 2001 12:20 pm (UTC)
Uhm... no they're not.

They're written by heartfelt, well meaning, really hopeful and *really* lonely people trying to market themselves to the opposite (or same.. or a completely different) sex through what they think are pithy words and what they think are sexy photos.

I read a good 150 of the things last night.
There's no way you can convince me that these people are smirking misanthropes with a plan.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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