A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

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I woke up with my head still hurting. I didn't sleep until about 7:30 this morning and didn't get up until one. In the time period before I got left feeling like shit for making someone else feel like shit. I got left feeling numbed out and hopeless. I got left feeling thankful for someone else's ability to forgive and understand. I got left feeling loved. I went to sleep... if not peacefully... then gratefully.
Not for the sleep.
Sleep is just a biological function. I got left grateful for someone who had no reason to be kind.. but he was.
You still amaze me, sweetheart.
And I'm still beating myself up. Heh. Sorry.

Now I'm doing something I never do. Girly things. I'm looking for furniture. Dream furniture for that time when we can afford it. And I'm looking through hairstyles for one that will fit me. I'm thinking about going through all my clothes and getting rid of all the ones that don't show off my hips and waist.
My eyes are swollen from the crying last night and I'm thinking about sitting back with a mud pack and cucumber slices or tea bags.

Truth be told... I feel sexy as all fuck today. That never happens.
And I feel horny as all fuck today.

That's why the Leonard Cohen. Even in his little whiney wails and interesting verbal arabesques he's such a stripped down, plainly spoken lil hornball.
I'm feeling very Cohen.
Even when the music isn't feeling me.

I think I like it when you're a lil stubbly. makes me break out in goosebumps remembering it with your breath on my neck.
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