A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

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I know that reading leaves fingerprints on me just as surely as the people in my life do.
But I wish sometimes I could have an editor.
Someone who forges ahead and anticipates what my eyes will fall on an removes the things that are going to fuck with my mood. I'm still mellow and good and feeling very... at peace? I dunno how to define it.. I don't feel it often anymore.
But then... there's already this edge. It's from people's journals. No one on my friends list. Those are the people I know and dig and who generally don't sway my mood too much. It's the things I randomly find. Today I found ego. A loud huge screaming ego, pretending to be meek, but then peppering the entries with an inflated sense of talent and importance. It makes me wonder if I'm like that and that's why it smacks my sensibilities so hard.. we hate what we see in others when it reflects what we have in ourselves and all that...
But to have such an incredibly out of proportion sense of your own talents...

gah.

I guess that's what happens when you live in a self created vacuum.
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