A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

I feel...

Odd. Disconnected. In general and specific.
I feel like I'm at the end of a string with a can attached hoping the line is taut enough to let my shakey voice find a way across.
I feel like my words aren't touching him. Not how it matters. He hears. He understands. he knows. But I don't think it's sinking in. It's not getting to those places where fear and doubt still reign supreme. It's not getting to the heart of things.
I don't know what to do.
Do I scream? seems wrong. Seems that screaming comes off as desperation. And I know *I* close up at screaming... seems he would probably react similarly.
What can I do to prove? show?
I know that a large part of this isn't me at all. It's the whole situation. It's HIS whole situation. It's all the worry. It's all the feelings of inadequacy. It's feeling trapped.
But me being me... I always think that I'm part of the problem as well.

Maybe things will straighten themselves out in person.
I just want him to never have to ask
I just want him to already know.
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