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I'm sitting here bored. I don't MEAN to spam your friends lists.. but well, that is what it looks like I'm doing, hmm?
I haven't had AIM open in a couple days. I haven't bothered. I've been too sensitive, too emotional, too... raw to deal with anyone and especially anyone's bullshit.
It just seems too... hard.

I do this in real life too. I always have. I don't understand the people who draw such strict lines marking off the on and offline conduct parameters. I'm me. I'm me in person and online and on the phone. The same me. I act the same, I feel the same... I think the only adjustment is for lack of tone, but even that goes out the window and I take things too hard or too lightly.

I dunno. I've spent so long keeping everything at arms length that things are so blurred this up close.
I'm glad I've got people around who are willing and able to help me along with the courage of my convictions. I'd just play carpet some more if I didn't. I'd just ... take it.
ramblin.. ramblin...

Comments

subbes
Dec. 20th, 2001 10:40 pm (UTC)
You know what I'd do?

I'd go to bed.
maddening
Dec. 20th, 2001 11:08 pm (UTC)
even if you'd promised someone you'd be waiting for them?
azmatiq
Dec. 21st, 2001 12:02 am (UTC)
Bah... you'd kick my ass if I waited up for YOU. (God if I assumed incorrectly I look dumb)
maddening
Dec. 21st, 2001 12:08 am (UTC)
I'd swear that you didn't have to .. but uh .. if you said you would... and then you didn't....

subbes
Dec. 21st, 2001 06:52 am (UTC)
I'd hope they'd understand.
maddening
Dec. 21st, 2001 10:09 am (UTC)
heheh.. I'd rather not count on that because it's just so rare that people *do* actually understand.
Lucky for me that Chad isn't people....
but I waited up anyway. Simply becuase he wouldn't have been upset with me if I hadn't.
frobisher
Dec. 21st, 2001 11:46 am (UTC)
Is he a coelacanth?

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