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my mother pulls me aside to bitch about my father.
my father pulls me aside to bitch about my mother.

I'm sick of this crap.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
mjfgates
Dec. 21st, 2001 01:46 pm (UTC)
It means they both know you're the one they can trust not to pass it on.
maddening
Dec. 21st, 2001 01:55 pm (UTC)
No, it means that they're both under the assumption that they can't actually TALK TO EACH OTHER.
this time it's about the lights on the tree.
My mom doesn't like the blinking multi colored ones. She likes the constant white ones. My father, on the other hand LIKES the blinking multi colored ones. So he put two strings of them on the tree in addition to one string of the constant white lights.
My mother had already set aside 3 strings of white lights for use on the tree and he went box diving to find the old colored ones.

She pulled me aside to be annoyed at me about the tree having the colored lights and he pulled me aside to be annoyed at me about my mother not liking the lights he put on it, though he didn't understand the source of her annoyance, thinking that instead of it being the colored lights, it was that he didn't use ALL THREE of the white light strings.
her:"Look at the tree. ::SOUR FACE:::"
him:"There isn't room for three strings ON the tree!::SOUR FACE::::"
All in whispered, furtive tones to make sure that one doesn't overhear the other.
When I leave, they're just going to have to stop talking to each other all together.

They can't fathom actually talking to ONE ANOTHER about their problems with each other, so they do it through me and nothing ever gets spoken about, understood, or resolved.
They do this WITH EVERYTHING. They always have.
bightchee
Dec. 21st, 2001 01:51 pm (UTC)
It would just be ironic if you were to find a LiveJournal belonging to your parents that they use to bitch about you.
frobisher
Dec. 21st, 2001 01:54 pm (UTC)
Me too. Let's firebomb something.
subliminalis
Dec. 21st, 2001 04:23 pm (UTC)
"my parents pulled this trick for years when i was a kid"
~jack refering to tyler & marla

look at it from a wider angle...i mean, come on...of all the things they could possibly argue over, they choose wether the lights on the tree should blink or not?? your parents sound more pathetic than mine, which is very rare considering my parents don't even live together and they still argue...

just flip them off and go listen to some music, read a book, take a walk in the park, or do all three, but DONT stay there. you dont need to be subjected to that bull-shit. it's not fucking fair. tell them to settle their own problems. you have absolutely NOTHING to do with their arguments, i'm guessing, so tell them to buzz off.

my 2 cents
joah
maddening
Dec. 21st, 2001 04:30 pm (UTC)
if you knew my family you would know that it's NEVER about the lights.
It's never about the car being parked a certain way, it's never about the thing they're talking about.

I don't expect you to understand that,because you don't know my family and you don't know the dynamics involved.

two cents noted.
subliminalis
Dec. 21st, 2001 04:36 pm (UTC)
Re:
indeed, it's never about who left the seat up or who forgot to lock the door, but i feel for you. please, don't let yourself hear that, though. it's a dangerous form of child abuse. just try to seperate yourself from the situation. and what ever you do, don't try to solve the problems.

2 more for ya
joah
maddening
Dec. 21st, 2001 06:07 pm (UTC)
my parents arguing about their shit is CHILD ABUSE?
Are you fucking JOKING?

If you think that's child abuse, you need to look around and redefine your view.

that's just.... somehow *offensive* that you would define it as such.
subliminalis
Dec. 22nd, 2001 01:02 am (UTC)
Re:
you seem to be offened. sorry, i didnt want to do that. what i meant was that, their constant argueing is scaring you. i've heard some pretty fucked up horror stories of kids. they turn out to be manic depressive adults because of their parent's constant fighting in front of them. they arent right...i don't know, i just dont want some stranger to get hurt. funny...

joha
maddening
Dec. 22nd, 2001 12:26 pm (UTC)
I *seem* to be offended?
Could it have something to do with my sentence up there saying that what you said was somehow offensive?

I'm sure your intentions are noble and good and so forth, but to call parents fighting with each other a form of abuse.... it depends GREATLY on the level of fighting.
If one were beating the shit out of each other and I was having to call the cops all the time...or if they were throwing things, if this were every night... if this were VIOLENT ARGUING, I could see where you're coming from. I know people, many people, who've grown up in those homes.
I'm not *scared* of their arguing.
I'm PISSED OFF that this is still going on when I've learned better, and my parents... heh..
When I was a kid my mom was this ghost that cooked and did laundry. My father ruled our worlds, and mine especially. A day did not go by without a beating. A day did not go by when he wasn't displeased and you knew the FULL MEANING of fear and anger.
I used to have lil scars from the belt on my back and the backs of my legs. Sometimes, I did something wrong (didn't clean something up) but more often than not he was just in a shitty mood and I'd been an easy target. To get at my sister (who never cried) he beat me, or ridiculed and demeaned. This was daily, it was a fact of life, it was NORMAL.
I can't get across to you what my childhood was like, and this is going to sound bad, but, ... I can't get that across to you because yours has obviously been *so* *good* in comparison.
You won't be able to understand coming home KNOWING that you will be made to feel small, insignifigant, worthless, and burdensome, every day of your life. You won't.. get it..
I know that's harsh.. it's just true.
Let me say this plainly...
Every form of abuse that you've heard about in regard to children?
I've recieved it.
No bullshit, no lie. I'm not being melodramatic or whiney, it's just the truth,man. It's not a huge part of my life but it's made me this person. I may complain about it, but this shit? this bullshit bantery complaining crap they both do? This is NOTHING. I'll take this ANY day over how things were when I was 6.
Last time my dad hit me, he slapped me full across the face during an argument (I never argued, I just took it) about why I wasn't allowed to go into the honors classes all the teachers wanted me to go into.
He slapped me across the face, left a burning hand print on my cheek and instantly knew he'd just crossed a line. I let him know that if he ever touched me again, I'd kill him, and I meant it.
You don't reach that level of resolve at 16 unless you HAVE REASON.
ANd I had plenty.

So i have to fucking SCOFF when you say that their petty arguing is child abuse. And I have to scoff when you say it has made people into manic depressives.
That's a chemical imbalance, a genetic predisposition, it's the old term for Bi-Polar, and no one can MAKE YOU a manic depressive.


Keep in mind, this isn't usually an issue. When these things are an issue, I usually just talk to someone who I *know* will understand because he's been through the same sort of bullshit.
I didn't post about it to be counselled on it. When I added you to that friends list, I went back and read all your journal entries. I do that with most people. You'd probably do well to do the same so that you don't pop up with things that have already been spelled out, because, all this? I've talked about it before.
You want to write?
You need to learn that there is ALWAYS a back story.

I'm not trying to be mean. I appreciate the concern. You just need to be told how *off* your comments are.

subliminalis
Dec. 22nd, 2001 01:21 pm (UTC)
I'm not *scared* of their arguing.

ok, good.

This was daily, it was a fact of life, it was NORMAL.thought</i> it was normal; you have been tricked into thinking that, but its not. People who 'correct' their kids by beating them disgust me. There is never an excuse to hit your children. No matter what.

I can't get that across to you because yours has obviously been *so* *good* in comparison.

Fuck you. you have no idea. I�m not going to type up my life as a cry for sympathy, just know that I DO know what it means to live in fear.

You won't be able to understand coming home KNOWING that you will be made to feel small, insignificant, worthless, and burdensome, every day of your life. You won't.. get it..
I know that's harsh. It�s just true.


I go through that every single second of my waking life.

He slapped me across the face, left a burning hand print on my cheek and instantly knew he'd just crossed a line. I let him know that if he ever touched me again, I'd kill him, and I meant it.

Awesome! Score one for you.

That's a chemical imbalance, a genetic predisposition, it's the old term for Bi-Polar, and no one can MAKE YOU a manic depressive.

Tell that to my parents, teachers, shrinks and doctors who all told me i was made manic, not born with it. I�ve been through it all, and I�m a walking zombie because of it. And yes, I have a chemical imbalance. I don't have enough seritonin in my brain. Seritonin controls your patterns. Sleeping, eating, moods, shitting, its all a big problem. i cant sleep, or I sleep too much, I�m never hungry, or hungry all the time, I�m pissed and suicidal one minute and happy the next. To top all that off, I just got diagnosed with tuberculosis. Look it up. And my 'new' disease is SAD. Social anxiety disorder. I can�t go to the beach. I can�t go to the mall, I can�t go to concerts, and I can�t go on trips I cant fucking live my life. I get these horrible panic attacks where my body freezes up and I feel like I am having a heart attack. The fear of having an attack while I am far from home is what keeps me indoors constantly. I live my life in constant fear. My life is a living hell. And *you* have it good.

I'm not trying to be mean.

There is a fine line between criticism and ignorance. Next time, I�ll remember to keep my mouth shut when someone obviously cries for help.

And when someone tries to apologize, just accept it, no matter what they think they know. Just let it go, or you will regret it.

pity for you, pity for you, pity for you�

josh

p.s.---i see you've removed me from your friends list. how mature. i thought it would all work out, no hard feelings. but no. nice to know you. you always were so kind...
maddening
Dec. 22nd, 2001 02:35 pm (UTC)
Check your mail for your response.
I'm far too pissed off to post it here.




( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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