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Why I've always loved my mother

My mother: you're not talking to Chad?
Me: I am... he's talking to me online right now until the crack whore leaves because he knows she annoys me.
My mother: What's she still doing there at ... it's.. what? quarter to midnight?
Me: yeah... she's there with Cody.
My mother: Holy shit! It's quarter to three!
Me: uhm.. yeah ...
My mother: ::singing::: It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place except you and me... So set 'em up, Joe, I got a little story I think you should know. We're drinking my friend, to the end of a brief episode.... Make it one for my baby.. and one more for the road.... ::stopping her crooning::: you don't know that song?
Me: I think I've heard it.
My mother: I've never had a reason to sing it... because I'm never up this late....
Me: you could become more of a night person, like me....
My mother: ::long pause::: I'm going to bed...g'night..

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maddening
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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