pulls out the sewing machine to hem his pants.
acknowledges that the the seams are so bulky they won't fit under the foot... that he has to stick manually there... and then put the presser foot back down on the straightaways.
Jams the shit out of the thread and the bobbin thread.
From trying to stich all of it with the presser foot up. Disobeying his own mandate there.
So now he sits swearing and slamming things on the table with tweezers and a flashlight trying to disentangle what he fucked up.
He hates it when he gets proven wrong.
Especially by something as simple as a machine.
I limped in... explained.." that box has been there for two days and I think I've smacked my shin on it 8 different times...." I was going to go on to say that if body memory picked up as quickly as eye memory, it would never be a problem... and he snapped "why don't you move it, then?" sounding irritated.
That's when I noticed the innard pulling on the machine... I looked at him (held the look... something I don't do... Long long bold look) and said "because I'm dumb"
and waited to look down to the sore spot on my leg until he got uncomfortable with me looking at him.
Predictably short period of time.
He's gotten physhically close too often lately.
Hugged me when he went up to bed.
Felt the need to tickle me when I'm not bothering him, sitting off somewhere.
He did it again last night. Lingering hug wrapped around my shoulders that I wouldn't turn to him and head laid against the back of my head that I wouldn't move to accomadate him.
It always makes me sick when he touches me or breathes near me.
Makes my stomach quiet flip flop.
makes my face blank out.
makes me shrink and curl.
drop my breasts into the hollow of my shoulders hunching forward. Drop my ass into a similar space made through similar bone contortions.
It looks like I'm just... less physically interesting.
It's more effective than crossing my arms which just somehow accentuates it.
and he's become obsessed with having the temperature in my room be warm enough.
It hasn't been for years...
it won't be for awhile.
until it's no longer a room in this house.