But I can't put it here.
not until something changes... but I don't know what needs to change.
I think it's me.
I think I need to quit giving a fuck who the hell is reading this.
Despite my misgivings. Despite feeling too watched.
Despite knowing that I'm going to get pounced on for quibbling little fuck-ups in one of the few places I've let myself by me.
It's still a guarded me.
But it's more of me than I've ever been willing to show before.
And besides the nit-picking, I've still got people randomly showing up at my door to scream at me about the content.
So I've been feeling particularly "fuck it" lately...
and who knows... that might stick.
at the same time... I hate the thought of letting you fuckers drive me out of my place here.