A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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I'm confused.

Soooo.. I decided to call Mike... see what was up.
After Tim hung up on me (yes, you read that right) and I called back, and Tim hung up on me again.... and again....
Mike finally picked up the phone and actually said "hello" after a long struggle with lots of "mother fucker" and "cock!" sputtering and grunting.

and then I got hung up on.

So, I walked over there. Stood outside. Staring at the doorbell that I know I rang.
Rung it again.
Scramble inside.
Don't break Mike... he's just getting over the big smash of last year.

Red faced ragged breathed Mike opens the door, jogs out of it and has it slam behind him.
And then says "it's okay!," still trying to get his breath, "I've got the key."
And shakes his keys at me.

So, I take it Tim is still pissed?

"Tim is more pissed than I thought Tim could be. Something about your online journal plus you not running around trying to reconcile things with him."
My slow nod.
"You know you were right.. right? We've all been shitheads. Thanks for saying I've been the most honest though, I appreciate that."
My slow nod.
"I'm freaking you out, aren't I? That's why you aren't saying anything.... right? "
My slow nod.
"I'm not pissed. I was a shit head. I've been in ... ::cough:: ::sniff:: therapy. "
My long stare
"No, really... honestly... no one even had to force me. I read through that journal thingy... those parts from when I was in the hospital. I realized some things... Like... ya know... I had no CLUE how much time you spent there with me? I was so drugged and out of it most of the time. ... and yeah .... I'm not going to ask that all be forgiven. I'm still all wacked out in a lot of ways and don't really have any desire to be best friends or anything like that. I just... you need to know I'm not still all stupid. I'm still some stupid, of course,just not all stupid."
My long stare
"Basically... I'm really suprised, but happy that you popped up here, miss balls of steel. Because, well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate everything you did when I was in the hospital and I'm sorry that you took flak for things that were really just me projecting frustrations and I'm sorry that I wasn't man enough to take no for an answer and I'm sorry you had to start looking THIS GOOD after I fucked it all up.... not that you weren't cute before.. but.. yeah ... wow. "
My slow nod.
Is "therapy" another way of saying AA? Because this is sounding an awful lot like the 4th step....
"Hah.. no.. but it might as well be. And I'm hyper. Coffee. I forgot about coffee! GAH! I LOVE COFFEE! And Tim just tried to break my fucking leg there."

Mike? How's Sean?

"right. I don't really know... I couldn't go to the hospital today and Tim won't tell me anything and so .. yeah... I have no clue. Sorry."

Well... if you find anything out, let me know.
... uh .. nice... talking to you?

His long stare
My long stare.

My walk home.

Why do these men keep trying to fuck with my head?

This didn't change anything for me. I hope he didn't think that it would.
Heh.. I'm just... amused? I think...
I think ...

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