A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

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I, apparently, have the ability 'to bring out the pain in others.'
yes, that's a quote. I ask questions, I ask all the wrong ones. I don't ask questions, I'm not involved enough. I talk about what's on my mind, I'm too needy, self-centered, moody, morose, depressed. I keep it to myself, I'm cold and closed off, a bitch, a pain in the ass. I try to go out and be social and have a life, I'm ignoring people and too wrapped up in my own happiness. I stay home, I am just a hermit, a shut in, a recluse and it's going to all come crashing in on me.


I'm tired of attempting to please everyone. I can't do it. I can't please *ANYONE*.
I can't be what anyone wants me to be. I can't be what *I* want me to be because I have no damned clue what that is.


So I'm going to stop trying. It doesn't mean I don't care. It doesn't mean that I don't want to talk, that I don't want to go out, that I don't want to be a friend, a confidant, a comfort... it's just that I've learned that I CANT BE

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