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Deep thoughts from Rhett

"If Jelly Bellies were alive, who would be the dominant life form: us or them? "


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 4th, 2001 06:52 pm (UTC)
too many flavors... mmmmmmm
May. 4th, 2001 06:53 pm (UTC)
we be dominant
The jelly bellies would be kept in herds like the mighty springbok. They are too tasty to actually manage to be the dominant life form. It's like saying what if the buildings the doozers made alive. Same thing: too tasty for any fraggle to resist even if the damn things scream and bleed when you eat them. This is the reason cows will never evolve to be our masters. You've never seen Planet of the Cows because they taste too good. On the other hand apes don't. That is why we make movies about them taking over the world because they taste too bad to be kept down through mastication of there carcasses. One of man's deepest fears involve being taken over by subservient creatures who taste bad. We fear what we can't eat. Just look at vegetables very non threatening and oh so tasty. Vegetables are thus rendered a non-threat by man's voracious appetite. Now if only midgets tasted good we could rid ourselves of the last real threat to our species(aside from ourselves).
May. 4th, 2001 07:12 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
..... and .. you're *sober* right now... aren't you?
I mean.. you're at work and everything.

Gotta call you again...
May. 4th, 2001 07:25 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
Straight as an arrow. Working my little fingers to the bone. Wondering quietly if the midget problem could be cured with a little curry or perhaps some A-1 sauce.
May. 4th, 2001 07:40 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
I would suggest a deep worchester sauce and garlic marinade, tucking some dill and orange rind into the body cavity and maybe some cloves in a nice criss cross pattern along the "wings" and legs...
Gotta find some midgets for some recipe trials.
May. 4th, 2001 07:55 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
It's gonna be hard finding "willing" candidates. But who is to say what the term willing could be stretched to mean. The nazis sure as hell stretched the shit out of that word and if they can then so can we.
May. 4th, 2001 08:08 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
Midgets are more than willing to be tossed in bars by large men all over the US... I don't think it would take too much more convincing for this...

You uh ..
you're not allowed to use new user pics that just make you look even better than ya did, dammit. Joe.. the thinker...

May. 4th, 2001 08:23 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
Yeah I gues we could offer them funny shoes or something. I am sure there is some sort of comical clothing style that midgets just can't resist. Maybe if we offered them those kangaroo shoes we all had when we were little it would be too much for them to resist. Or we could perhaps turn it into a hunting expedition or something. I have always wanted an excuse to wear a pith helmet and buy an elephant gun(or in this case a midget gun HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH).

stop it you are making me blush.

thank you i feel all pretty and stuff now.
May. 4th, 2001 08:35 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
We are here on the mississippi plane.. hunting the intrepid barefoot midgelope. A rare and hardy species from the tundras of Kentucky, it is known by its unique denim coloring and its distinctive mating call of , 'How yoo doin, yoo sweet thang?'

They travel in packs, for to be alone, is to be powerless for these strange creatures....

and making you blush and feel pretty is the *point*, Joe.
Of course, it helps that its entirely true as well.
May. 4th, 2001 09:14 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
Watch now as my son Jaque junior attempts to tag the rarest of the rare midegelopes. The bearded, purple, pissed off, midgelopasaurus. As he approaches with only a turkey baster, two pounds of bacon and a small jar of pigs feet he uses the utmost caution as he is wearing a suit made entirely of small dogs. Suddenly there is a yip from his suit and the bearded, purple, pissed off midgelopasaurus is instantly aware of his presence. She lets loose with a fearsome intonation of the partridge family theme song as she pounces. Alas Jaque junior did not survive the swift and furious fury of the bearded, purple, pissed off midgalopasaurus. I will now have to convince one of my step children to attempt this most vital scientific endeavor while I sit in relative saftey so the croisants do not burn.

Keep it up with the compliments. I have always wanted an ego that required an extra plane ticket and thanks to you I am well on my way to that goal. Besides it really means a lot coming from a sexy wench like yourself.
May. 4th, 2001 10:01 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
You're not allowed to make *me* blush, dammit
May. 7th, 2001 03:59 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
I have done it before I will do it again!@#?!@#
May. 7th, 2001 04:52 pm (UTC)
Re: we be dominant
you said "@#?!@#"!
Thems fightin werds.

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( 14 comments — Leave a comment )


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