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There was a point in time when my voice was the only attractive thing about me.
::nods::

I've got a nice voice. Very low, soft, soothing sort of voice. And I do a great "hey, I'm Lonely caaaalll me nooow for a HooooooTT conversaaaation!" phone sex impersonation.

It was the ONLY thing I had going for me.

I had icky colored hair, bad glasses ( I still wear glasses, by the way), and I was fat.
probably at least 70 lbs more than what I am currently (but that fluctuates about 10 lbs.. and that's no big whoop) when I was in high school.
I was still a pretty well liked lil freak. I didn't catch the crap *too* bad and what crap I caught was for the way I looked in dress and dye and makeup, not the way I looked in the body type sense.
All of that happened in junior high.

Hugh dumpy blonde chick with "such a pretty face"
hehe

I'm doin alright now, I suppose. I'm pretty mellow about my size... I'm glad I'm not thinner (I've been thinner, my ribs show and I don't like that) and I'm glad I'm not bigger (I've been bigger, my collar bones lose their definition and I don't like that) .

But ya know... it's still bizarre to me to have the big dumb guys asking for tit shots.
It's insulting, because I don't need that sort of justification, and it's also suprising, because I still don't see myself as even approaching attractive.
I still feel like Blubber. Judy Blume's book... did you read that?
I never felt *exactly* like that girl.. because she actually seemed to have more confidence than I did. But there were bits and pieces that made sense to me.
I didn't read it when I was a kid either... well.. not that young of a kid. I read it when I was in the 8th grade, probably.
So I was 13.
And since junior high was a nightmare ( I got bussed to the rich kid school from my ghetto lil neighborhood.. so it was pretty damned odd) it made sense to me.

So, like I said.. in a lot of ways, I feel like Blubber.
::shrug::: I've just always been like that.

weird.
I started writing thinking I was going to talk about the idiots asking for shots of my tits because of some new user pic.
(a pic I'm not going to use for this post heh)

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
christiana
Mar. 13th, 2002 06:50 pm (UTC)
I know what you mean. I know exactly what you mean.
frobisher
Mar. 13th, 2002 07:39 pm (UTC)
I am not dumb!
(Deleted comment)
luvrhino
Mar. 14th, 2002 05:45 am (UTC)
i'm so unspecial
Holly, just how many people have you said "moist" to by now? Too many to count?

Slut.
maddening
Mar. 14th, 2002 09:00 am (UTC)
Re: i'm so unspecial
You say it to one person on GF and the next thing you know the whole fucking list wants you to call them just tell them the 'moist' story.

I never did it to you because you're ken and you're above such tawdry amusements.

Or at least I asumed you were.

luvrhino
Mar. 14th, 2002 09:18 am (UTC)
Re: i'm so unspecial
You actually did say "moist" to me during, in the context of titillating Kieran, our phone call way back when.

I must admit, you do "moist" quite well.
bightchee
Mar. 14th, 2002 09:01 am (UTC)
Re: i'm so unspecial
Really! I thought *I* was the only one.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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