A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

  • Mood:
I just tried calling 15 different people.
**15** of them.
And not one of them was home.
I realize it's saturday and all, but c'mon people.
This is just *rude*

So the promised rain decided not to fall.
I keep thinking about a certain someone out there who is having a very good time right about now and it does nothing but piss me off.
I'm worried again about someone I've got no reason to be worried about.
I feel generally pale, weak, and listless.
I keep thinking of all the blood getting drawn from me in the terms of what they might do with it.
I know they don't test ALL of it. There must be some left over... is it just going to the biohazard dump? and what exactly do they DO with the stuff that gets put in those biohazard barrells at the hospital? Do they burn it? And if they do, does it smell like burnt human?
It's time to get down to picking a new design. I just dont feel any inspiration.
Dan saw something I had drawn out and suggested that... but it was a veve for simbi..
I dunno if I want to go carving that into my flesh.
whatever I choose, I think I'll do an ink rubbing this time. Probably with red ink.

I've got an incubus song in my head. The only way to get it out of there is to listen to the album. That particular cd is in the posession of my ex.... the one who refuses to speak to me.
I tried calling him a bit ago, just to let him know he has something I want (and that I have a book of his) but his line was busy. Of course. Eversmack. I was actually glad for the busy signal. It let me know that he isn't dead. I really did think he was going to crack. I'm glad he proved stronger than I gave him credit for. If he would talk to me, I'd tell him just that. That I was happy about his strength. That, I know as little as it means to him, that I do miss him. That I realize now that he loved me a great deal. Probably more than anyone ever has. And that I'm still so sorry about the way I handled my inability to return that love.

I'm a relationship disaster. To date me is to hate me. Unless I break it off first. And then to date me is to hate me because I wouldn't let you date me.
I'm bad with men, I'm bad with women. I need to stick to kids.
I dig kids. marcus next door adores me, much to his father's chagrin.
If eveyone could just be five years old, ya know....

  • Oh LJ...

    While I rarely have the energy or mental clarity for a fully fleshed out blah blah in the livejournal, I almost always have the energy for picspam…

  • Yep, still feeling old

    Well alright, Semagic has changed more than a little since the last time I used it. Heh. This is pretty ridiculous. Because Tamara has chosen to…

  • (no subject)

    I think I need to remember to keep the LJ open in the background. Download another client for it and actually run the thing. Maybe that will increase…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic