So spur of the moment, barefoot, hair all wild in this sudden psuedo-noreaster that has decended on the eastern seaboard...
I'm sure I scared Robert.
I'm sure I scared Tim.
"Tim! To the hotel! GOTTA GO! now now now!"
the fastest 20 minute drive of my life. No talking. adrenaline... I couldn't let myself lose momentum.
This is why life has to be more like the movies, so I could have just cut immediately to the next scene and retained all that fire effortlessly.
Up to the room.
I think I interrupted some nookie.
Got Robert in the car and we drove around.
The house we used to live in. There's a lil Tom under the floor (very nice landlord).
The roof we always watched the sky from... bits of Tom sprinkled on the shingles.
The cafe where I sang poetry and he picked up goffs. Tom in the alleyway.
That lil spot at 32nd street where the good dune is. lil Tom there.
The library, the pier, out the window going 80 through salem woods... frickin rich people...
little clouds and tufts and swirls of Tom.
I did it with my barehands.
I washed my hands off with the hose outside of Mike's house.
He hurt me when he hugged me.
He cried on me and he was just fine.
This is the happiest I've been in months.
and ya know..
I'm still so very far away from happy.