A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

Anchor: Uh, it seems we have a surprise witness who was there and claims to know the truth!

GIR walks on set, out of disguise, with his face blurred out.

Dib: But he works for the alien!

The words 'Stacy: witness' appear.

Anchor: Restrain him!

The sound of Dib screaming as someone puts him in a straight jacket is heard. GIR waves to the camera.

Anchor: Now, what can you tell us about Dib?

GIR: He's so mean to my master! He not like the Zim! I seen it! Dib is bad! Yeeheeheehe!

Anchor: And about the night in question?

The screen fades to the black screen that says 'dramatic reenactment.' The screen cuts to the set where the actors are. The Zim actor climbs down the ladder.

GIR (voice over): I was the chubby lady hiding in the bushes!

A camera zooms in on a woman hiding behind a cardboard bush. Her face is blurred out.

Anchor (voice over): Uh huh... And what about Dib?

GIR (voice over): I'm on TV!

Up in the tree, the GIR actor uses the flashlight to make a shadow puppet with his claw.

Anchor (voice over): Yes, then what happened?

GIR (voice over): That's when the giant squirrel showed up!

An actor in a squirrel suit walks out from behind the tree.

Zim (voice over): GIR!

Anchor (voice over): Let her talk!

The GIR actor shines the light on the squirrel.

Anchor (voice over): Can't you see she's upset? Now, don't you mean Dib showed up?

The GIR actor shines the flashlight up at the sky.

GIR (voice over): No! The squirrel showed up first, then Dib showed up.

The Dib and Gaz actors walk into view. The Dib actor spots the squirrel and starts screaming. He throws the camera down.

Dib actor: Whoa man! What is that thing!?!

GIR (voice over): And then the squirrel ate Dib's greasy head!

The squirrel actor leaps on the Dib actor and pretends to eat his head. The Dib actor kicks his legs, screaming. The Zim actor lifts up his mask. The squirrel actor then gets up.

GIR (voice over): And then the squirrel flew away!

Two cables lower down and attach to the squirrel, one to his head and one to his tail. They start to lift him up. The cable on his head rips through the costume so that only the one on his tail is attached. It pulls the squirrel into the air and through the set. The squirrel then appear against a blue screen background of outer space.

GIR (voice over): After that, he went back to his home planet to fight all the bad guys.

The tail of the squirrel costume rips off and the squirrel actor plummets down. Two guys dressed, one dressed as a bird creature and the other as an axe-wielding beetle/turtle monster, sit in a sandbox with the space background behind them. The squirrel actor crashes down on the bird actor and then bounces back and hits the beetle actor, knocking him down and sending the axe flying. The screen fades and cuts back to the set where everyone is sitting.

Anchor: What does that have to do with anything?

GIR: Me and the squirrel are friends!

Cut back to the reenactment set. All the actors just stand there except for the Squirrel and Stacy, who dance to some happy music. A man on the catwalk pulls on a cable which lifts up the Dib actor, who is on a stretcher. Cut back to the set. Coughing is heard. The anchor's eye twitches.

Anchor: I'm so fired. Eh, um, well, the only conclusion I can come to is that Dib is crazy!

The anchor looks at GIR.

Anchor: This one here, definitely crazy.

Full transcripts from The Scary Monkey Show

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