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Apr. 12th, 2002

I woke up LATE as hell.
But that's okay because my sister isn't back yet anyway. I think I'm all packed up.
I just need to slurp some coffee and make sure I'm not forgetting anything.
I got this incredible Hieronymous Bosh book today. It is sooooo utterly lovely.
So incredibly wonderful.
I got a call from Chad last night and we did some talking.
I'm still his girlfriend.
We've resolved that working on things is what needs to happen.
And I feel pretty damned content with that idea.
There was a lot of confusion on the phone at first. And a lot of apology.
I accept and understand and know that things need to be worked on. And I have a pretty good idea of what direction we need to go in from here.
He said he's never done this before. Neither have I.
So I may fuck up so enormously that it kills me... but hopefully I don't.

I'm feeling pretty up and hopeful today. Still a little conflicted. But I'm really looking forward to being away from this house for a weekend and just hanging out and looking at beautiful things in museums.

Chad's journal may or may not dissapear. As far as I know, that doesn't have anything to do with me. It's a making-sure-job-people-don't-see-things-thing. The fan in his laptop crapped out on him so he can't get online and his father has out of the blue decided that he can't stay there anymore.
He doesn't know where he's going to live, but he'll be okay.

He needs a support system again. Through all the shit that's happened the past couple years, he doesn't really feel like he has a support system.
And he really really needs one.
Some of the people he's hung out with in the past have just .. become fuck heads.
And some of the people he's hung out with in the past he's just afraid of being a burden to. So .. yeah ... if you give a damn, let him know, please.
And don't do it just because I'm asking and you think you should. If you honestly give a damn, he can really use the help right now.

Okay.
I'm going to slurp coffee and I'm going to finish up gathering everything together (and probably end up taking a bath to alleviate the horrible gaddamned cramps) and then I'll be on my way.

As weird as things are right now.. they're weird in a way that I think I can manage.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
frobisher
Apr. 12th, 2002 11:47 am (UTC)
That's the trick with working on stuff. You (plural "you") will fuck up. The trick is for you both to recognize that, say, "Ok, a fuck up", and reboot from there.

I'm probably saying this stupidly, but it's easy for me to talk since the only person who really needs to deal with me being a fuck up is me...

Have a good weekend.
mjfgates
Apr. 12th, 2002 02:23 pm (UTC)
This... is a good sign. Big one.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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