A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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I went and did an obnoxious amount of deleting the other day. Nothing out of this journal, and most of the things I deleted out of the other one have already been copied here. I got rid of a few memory thingies and realized that I'd never even saved anything that had to do with Chad.

I think that pretending that nothing happened is the wrong tact to take.
That isn't what I've been doing.
I just didn't feel that it was a good time, or a good idea, to spew about dirty lil details.
I may *never* talk about the details.
But neither am I pretending that Chad and I didn't break up or that he's not around anymore.
I'm very very very aware of that fact.
I know why it happened and I know what could have stopped it.
I figured it out. And I figured out that it would have been stop-gag gestures only.

I'm not really of the "well, it's going to go to shit eventually, so might as well not try" school, but I am a realistic person.

The more I think about it, the more I know I did the right thing.

And the more I think about it, I'm *glad* that he didn't bugger off the face of the earth just because of me.
It shows a little bit more resolve than I think I gave him credit for.
However, I will have to teach myself to just be fucking honest and me in this space without the censoship that I want to impose on it.

I will say again... if you feel uncomfy having me on your friends list, now is the time to gank me. No hard feelings, I'll understand, all that good stuff.

Yesterday after a lot of getting lost we got to the aquarium and decided that fish are just better than people. Better, especially, than the people at the aquarium.

We had nice yummy food at the Evening Star Cafe (where Karl was once again powerless in the grip of the gumbo zone) along with another really really gaddamned good red wine (another shiraz).
We watched Bubble Boy, a little bit of invader zim, I had a bath, and retired for the night.

Very good day, lots and lots of laughing.

This is going to be weird being here basically alone all week during the day, but I've got a whole house to clean, so hopefully I'll manage just fine.

And of course, there are the silly kittens to keep me company.

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