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Gates is a funny guy.

mjfgates: It's supporting the cruel de-life-savings'ing of tens of thousands of innocent little old ladies.
Herbiscuits: ahhh fuck em
mjfgates: ew.
mjfgates: NO thank you.
Herbiscuits: YOU WANNA FUCK EM
Herbiscuits: Fuck em hardcore, granny style
Herbiscuits: ya know.. gentle... so you don't break their hip
mjfgates: bleh. BLEH. You're worse'n me, almost.
Herbiscuits: I can be
mjfgates: No kidding. Old ladies... uck.
Herbiscuits: Saggy, BUT EXPERIENCED labia
* mjfgates puts on Jimi Hendrix
mjfgates: dangly 'nuff to wrap 'em right around.
Herbiscuits: dangly enough to wipe stuff off with them and then wring them out.
mjfgates: "Whaddya think the mangle is FOR, anyway, sonny?"
mjfgates: cranka cranka cranka
Herbiscuits: "Ever seen a pair of old sweatpants with the elastic worn out? .... Does it get ya HOT?"


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2002 09:41 pm (UTC)
Aw, jeezus. I'm demented, but I think reading that scarred me for life.
May. 2nd, 2002 09:55 pm (UTC)
Well talk like that is only going to encourage me...

mjfgates: I'd get you a copy, but I suspect you'd rather have photos of me doing something unspeakable to a woman who has to wear three pairs of support hose.


mjfgates: Nooooo. Not until you get out the Photoshop, anyway.

Herbiscuits: tease

mjfgates: I could never do anything like that in real life; I'd worry about getting a rip in her support hose, and then having her just sort of... oooooze out, through the hole, until there's nothing left but half a standing leg and a puddle of homogenous old-lady-colored substance, like pancake batter that's gone a bit off.

My friends are *excellent*
May. 2nd, 2002 09:58 pm (UTC)
That does it. I'm going to start searching for gay midget porn.
May. 2nd, 2002 10:01 pm (UTC)
Stop trying to turn me on.
May. 2nd, 2002 10:02 pm (UTC)
You know you want it. Hot, sweaty little carnival performers...
May. 2nd, 2002 10:29 pm (UTC)
deliver them unto me, freshly worked out, greased up with a tub and a half of crisco, and slapped around a lil.

I like um ornery and greasy!

(ever just stop and realize that you're probably being *really* weird?)

And hey, you live in the same state as me.
VA *is* for lovers ya know.

Married, missionary positioned, not on the sabbath day, only in the bedroom, under the sheets, with the blinds closed lovers.
May. 2nd, 2002 10:32 pm (UTC)
(I always realize that I'm definitely being really weird.)

And, yes, I realize that I'm an evil heathen sodomist.
May. 3rd, 2002 07:33 am (UTC)
You want to borrow my copy of Freaks? It's got a guy with no arms or legs...
May. 3rd, 2002 10:19 am (UTC)
Hey, I've seen that before...
May. 3rd, 2002 10:49 am (UTC)
There ya go, you flipped the film geek switch...

The really sad thing about Freaks is that it killed Tod Browning's career. He only made a couple of films afterwards (including one that turned up in the last seasons of MST3K, for fuck's sake).

His career was so dead that Variety published his obituary a few years before he actually died (they apparently figured he had disappeared so completely that he must be dead.

Browning made some of the more interesting odd films of his time when he was working regularly. Worked a number of times with Lon Chaney (Sr.), and they made an amazing team. Chaney spends most of West of Zanzibar (which is a seriously disturbed film...) as a character called "Dead Legs", due to his having been crippled at the beginning of the film. He actually drags himself around by his arms, leaving his legs, uh, dead for the remainder of the film. Chaney's another interesting guy, but that's for another time.

The final irony of Browning and Freaks is that a year or so after he died (actually, this time), Freaks turned up at the Venice Film Festival and was hailed as a classic. D'oh!

For further info on Browning: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0385474067/qid=1020447208/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/102-7359010-9150562

For a similar story of a director whose career was destroyed by a film the world wasn't ready for, look into the work of Michael Powell (and his last major film, Peeping Tom).
May. 3rd, 2002 11:16 am (UTC)
And one wonders how John Waters became an icon...
May. 3rd, 2002 07:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, that's easy. He started out making films that no one in their right mind would watch, in Baltimore. He then worked his way up to being able to actually release films in the normal hollywood manner.

In other words, he went in the opposite direction.
May. 2nd, 2002 09:52 pm (UTC)
My eyes! My EYES! I need to scrub them with brillo pads to get those words off of them!


::runs away::
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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