Jonfmorse: A year ago, I started being unable to connect to news.bellatlantic.net.
Jonfmorse: I contact Verizon. I tell them, "I cannot connect to news.bellatlantic.net. My mail is fine, my web is fine, I can connect to every other server on the planet except news.bellatlantic.net. Here are my ping and traceroute results; as you can see, the machine is down hard. Plz fix thx bye."
Jonfmorse: First response: We are not aware of any problem. Please try later.
Jonfmorse: "Umm, here's my ping and traceroute results to all your other servers, including news.verizon.net, which I don't have a login to. Did you transition news.bellatlantic.net to news.verizon.net and simply forget to tell me?"
Jonfmorse: Second response: No, sir, you are still assigned to news.bellatlantic.net. We are unaware....."
Jonfmorse: "Umm... hello? I'm a sys admin. I know what it means when a server which is in production is unpingable, but there's no DNS problem. Don't you think you ought to have someone look at it?"
Jonfmorse: Third response: We are sorry you are having a connection problem. Please contact our phone support, and they will help you troubleshoot so that you can restore your access to the web.
Jonfmorse: "Uh... newsgroups. Not web."
Jonfmorse: fourth response: "Please follow these procedures to remove the Code Blue virus."
Jonfmorse: "AAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHHH! YOUR GODDAMNED SERVER IS DEAD! TRY PINGING IT, YOU MOUTHBREATHING MORON!"
Jonfmorse: Fifth response: Thank you for your e-mail. We are aware of the problem, and it is being worked on. ETR 4 days.