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My mom is in a really really vile mood because my dad's a fucking cock monkey.
And he's really pissing me off
( akadashi: Shall I hire a large Samoan fellow to pleasure him against his will? )
And now that she has left the house, slamming the door behind her and speeding off down the driveway, he's trying to get me to feel sorry for him. "well I guess I just can't do anything right..."
It's mother's day. He wasn't going to take her out, and then didn't make any plans for dinner. I told her earlier that if she found something she wanted and we didn't have the things to make it here, HE WOULD GO to the store and get the ingredients and I would be more than happy to cook whatever she wanted. He made no moves to go to the store, ask about dinner, ANYTHING. So, she started to go. I asked him to go instead and then there was just this weird exchange and more or less, he told her that was could get pizza or subs or something delivered. For MOTHERS DAY DINNER.
He's offering her pizza or subs.

So now she's going to the store to buy ingredients for whatever she wants for dinner on mother's day and he's wandering around on the patio fucking pouting.

(* akadashi thumbs through phone book... saddlery... safes... ah, here we go - Samoans...)


So I made her dinner. I made her a big tall drink (a melonball with two shots of vodka instead of one and enough grenadine for her to not be able to taste the extra vodka). And later when she wants ice cream I'll be spooning out an enormous freakin bowl of icecream with tons of pretzels stuck in the top like she likes.

My father is still a shithead cocksucking moron that I really really really hate for so many reasons, but lately it's the way he treats her that gets to me the most.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
mjfgates
May. 12th, 2002 07:43 pm (UTC)
I think a Tongan would do, if none of the Samoans have an appointment in the next few days. They're busy guys, y'know.

akadashi
May. 12th, 2002 09:42 pm (UTC)
Man... you're alright.

P.S. David Tua for hire. Have Samoans, will travel.
dsutari
May. 13th, 2002 04:10 am (UTC)
Cream of sum yung guy
Hey don't bash it we got chinese takout for Mother's day. Of course that's what my mom wanted, for some reason.

Ever notice how chinese food looks really good when you get it and then get more disgusting with each bite? Oy.
maddening
May. 13th, 2002 10:27 am (UTC)
Re: Cream of sum yung guy
Hey, if she'd wanted a greasy pizza, greasy pizza it would have been. If she'd wanted chili-dogs, I'd have been boiling weiners in seconds.

Doesn't retract from him being a cock monkey.

Chinese food doesn't really look icktafied to me until you're putting away the leftovers. Somehow between hungry and full it becomes "left over stuff" instead of "food".
Just like the stuff that's left over on the plates from dinner where YOU COOKED what was eaten.
All of a sudden it's this icky residue insted of being the food you just ate and enjoyed.

wrekehavoc
May. 13th, 2002 08:33 am (UTC)
are they actually still married?
maddening
May. 13th, 2002 10:22 am (UTC)
37 years and counting.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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