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May. 17th, 2002

I'm not all enthused about LJ at the moment.
I'm not all enthused about *much* at the moment. I'm thinking of taking some muscle relaxants and adopting unatural slack for the remainder of the day.
Found this... and I should make it clear that the designers of the new $20 had NO IDEA that the attacks of 9/11 were going to happen.
It's just a coincedence. DO NOT BE ALARMED!
*ahem*

I'm not even sure if this will post. The client doesn't work and they're apparently installing servers today.. so I would expect this to be ferhoodled and odd all day. Did you know that the table "ljlogs.user" doesn't exist? well *I* did.
So I'm posting from the web.. hehe.. I don't think I've *ever* done this.


I said "I feel odd" to a couple different people yesterday and both of them said they'd noticed. Somehow it's been coming across in my writing if you just look for it. Gates has known me through text long enough that I'd be really silly to think he's just full of it.
And I *am* really silly.. but not in the Gates ignoring way.

I feel more passionate about things when I've spent a long time biting my tongue about them. That's no shocker. Most people are like that. But wouldn't that also mean that.. if you want to arouse my ire, desire, wants, what have you... you should just deny me?
Doesn't work that way either.
There's this really really fine line between giving and denying to keep me in this crazy lil passion whirlwind.
And I don't mean passion in the bodice ripper sense. Not always anyway. I'm a silly person who actually uses it to refer to anything you're into... doesn't necessarily have to be a person or possibly orgasmic.

Speaking of that sort of thing though.. where it comes to relationships and Relationships...
Talking to jonfmorse about this last night... the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone. I'd never really given it any sort of.. solid thought.

I think I take exactly the opposite view most people do.
"in love" to me is the crushy, silly, giddy, sweaty handed, bouncy, 'oh wow I like them sooo soo much' thing that happens at the beginning of a relationship.
To me, being in love is that christmas morning feeling. Just soooo excited that there is this room full of possibilities wating to come to life at the tug and rip of your hot lil hands. I mean.. those packages could be *anything*.. ANYTHING! It's FUN not knowing. It's fun wondering. It's wonderful being giddy and silly about all the things you don't know.
And love is the christmas evening feeling.
The presents have been opened, played with, tried on, broken, fixed, examined, criticised, the good seperated from the bad, the decision made.
Love is the time period after the discoveries. Love is when you know what's there and you've taken it apart and poked and fiddled at it and it's still okay. It's still what you wanted.
::nods:: Love is the sitting back in that sweater and taking comfort in its textures, knowing that it looks good on you, knowing that it makes you smile just by virtue of its composition. Love is also knowing that the sweater might pull or the colors may run or it might shrink.. but that for right now and for this period of time.. until those things happen... the sweater is going to be a great gaddamned sweater.

Basically.

Don't rip apart my anaologies. Last night I used totally different ones and these I just came up with off the top of my head.

I want to take 3 billion pictures and stun you all with just how fucking *gorgeous* the world can look through my eyes.
::grin::

Comments

bightchee
May. 17th, 2002 10:50 am (UTC)
To me, being in love is that christmas morning feeling. Just soooo excited that there is thi room full of possibilities wating to come to life at the tug and rip of your hot lil hands. I mean.. those packages could be *anything*.. ANYTHING! It's FUN not knowing. It's fun wondering. It's wonderful being giddy and silly about all the things you don't know. >>>

That's why I'm so confident about moving out there....... not knowing what will happen, but the idea of doing it all with her sound wonderful.

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