A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

I went out and did a little more gaaaaaathering gaaaaaaathering of the stuff for the Karl gifts.....
OOOOH aaaaaaaaaaaah...
When I got back, my father was here and had just come in the door, apparently.
He handed me this bright orange flyer that said:

Could YOU use $100 weekly in FREE gasoline? Would YOU like to be able to never have to worry about buying gasoline? Think about it, gas is a "need product" for the 216,000,000 registered drivers in the USA alone! YOU had no choice but to purchase gasoline UNTIL NOW. That's right, now YOU can get FREE gas and make serious money by simply sharing the program with others! Here's how to learn more...
24 hr. Toll Free Information Line: 1-877-887-3650
Contact Your Sponsor: 804-276-4630
Visit The Website: http://gaspumpsavings.appgas.com

This is YOUR opportunity of a lifetime.

So I said "it's a prepaid gas card pyramid scheme... sooo.. what? "
"yeah ... just click in on that site there, though, I want to see what it is."
"It's a prepaid gas card pyramid scheme... believe me."
"But I want to see what their pitch is."

So I do.
I pull up the FAQ and after reading through it decide that it's a prepaid gas card pyramid scheme.
I tell him so.
His response? "Probably doesn't actually work in most gas stations anyway...."

I'm the spawn of a dumb dumb dumb person.

Some of the things I found interesting in the FAQ :

What else can APP do for me?
Like we mentioned in our last question, we can help you earn money. You can share this money-saving opportunity with your family, friends, and colleagues and earn significant commissions when they become customers of the APP Gas Card program. In fact, for everyone you bring into the program as an ISR -- and everyone THEY bring into the program -- forever -- you'll receive points when you (and they) sell memberships that lead to a commission check. We believe it's a sweet deal for everyone since all of us need to buy gasoline. What better way to make a few extra dollars a month than by sharing the chance to buy -- at a lower than "street-price" cost -- a product we all use everyday?</b>

Is APP approved by legal authorities?
The government doesn't "approve" network marketing companies any more than it approves any other kind of company. So the quick answer is, "It doesn't have to be." On the other hand, we know that because only 5% of workers in America are networkers, everyone's still getting used to the idea of how network marketing programs work. We've designed APP to provide real value for the dollars that flow into our program -- and designed our plan to be as legally compliant as it can possibly be in our regulatory atmosphere. We know credibility means everything in this business and you can rest assured we'll be doing everything in our power to keep our name strong, reliable, and respectable.</b>

Is there a cancellation policy?
Yes. Within three days after becoming a member, you can cancel your membership without any penalty. After that initial period, your membership fee becomes part of the commission pool - and we cannot refund it. When you DO cancel, your cancellation must be submitted in writing to the company at its physical principal address - American Petroleum Promotions, Inc., 6034 Young Court, St. Charles, MO, 63304 </b>

THREE DAY cancellation period and it has to be in writing and sent to the physical address.

You pay a $295 membership fee per year.
That entitles you to the benefit of paying $160 per month for a gas card that they say with buy $200 worth of gas.
So for about $25 a month, you save almost $40 a month... that leave you with a savings of about $15 per month...
But if you SELL THEM to other people, you get bonuses and commisions.
And Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeen it's all free.. if you sell enough.

I'm amused but disgusted.

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