A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

The House on Haunted MANGO!

Okay... so last night I watched the updated, rewritten House on Haunted Hill.
As long as I totally forget that this was a movie I've seen over and over and enjoyed in the original black and white with the schlocky effects and Mister Vincent "I CHEW DAT SCENERY!" Price, it's not *that* bad.
Not really.
Yes, it tried way too hard. Yes, it SHOWED how much they were trying and it felt rather.. plodding and long.
But at the same time, there were some things that.. if they'd focused on them (and stopped acting like this was house on haunted hill and come up with a different device) could have been really good.

And they did that "faceless thing that shakes its head back and forth really really fast" thing that first freaked me out in Jacob's Ladder and still freaks me out. And how has "flickering, jerky, pseudo-zombie walk" come to be an almost universal sign for "this is a ghost!"?

My largest problem with the whole thing was their lack of explanation. They tried to make the "insane doctor" the main boogieman but they never EXPLAINED why he was insane, what he did, why he was *so* horrible... just a lot of vague shots of surgery and the anatomical things left behind. If you want me to belief he's evil... you have to show me why he's evil, dammit.

Of course, I enjoy horror movies. They entertain me and if they really scare me I can appreciate that. This one managed to really creep me out here and there. But the big spectral... thingy... at the end took away all the spook so I had *no* problem sleeping. The use of CGI in the vast majority of modern horror movies is just a bad move. It rarely works.

Oh, and Chris Kattan being in this... I just kept expecting him to start doing Mr. Peepers or the Mango voice.

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