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The brain

is firing and clicking and stalling and whirring around and I know .. I KNOW it is going to spill. It's going to spill something fierce. Where and when I do not know.
I've got my suspicions. Gotta make it spill where it will count.
I've got people here who are playing this game with me. Where they just keep assuming about me. And when I try to correct it, it just adds fuel to their fires of misconception. So I'm left mute. Chop off my hands, cut off my tongue, talk shit about me without knowing enough and then assume that because I'm not saying and doing all the right things to change your mind about me, that it must all be true.
That you are the king of perception and that you've seen right through to the heart of it.

The hell of it is, I've got mere aqquaintances doing it too. People who have thus far been only words... only capable of being mildly convinced of their existence in any sort of concrete and tactile way. They're all too wiling to put me in a box and slap on the lid. Pat and taken care of. All wrapped up.

pisses me off, yes it does.

Makes me want to shake people, yes it does.

But more than that, it makes me want to give up on them. Kick them right on out. Take a big eraser, a bottle of white out, a pressure washer.... make them not exist.

Of course, I won't do that. I don't give up on people too often.
maybe I should look into that.


May. 18th, 2001 01:03 pm (UTC)
Blows goats it does...
Thats probably one of the most annoying things about 'people'. I almost wish I were psychic so I could bitch slap each and every one of them that was doing that, before they exhibited it.

But, its even more annoying when there's people I could have sworn were smarter than to do that to anyone. Then their arrogance shows through and I start to realize they're about as good for me as every other of those 'people' and it just makes me angry that I didn't see it. They start assuming I'm one of the double talkers.

Do what I say, say what I mean, and if I wanna tell someone to fuck off... I need to start doing that.


A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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