A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

I think my cat is dying.
His sister died a few years ago from a kidney condition that caused renal failure. She stopped eating, wouldn't drink, lost a lot of weight.. the vet didn't out and out say "put her to sleep"... but she got close.
So that's what we did.
Now Whiskers (no, I didn't name him) is really old. His eyesight is going. He can't jump like he used to. He sleeps the better part of most days, and not just cat nappy sleeps... real, deep, difficult to disturb him sort of sleep. Since he was a kitten he glommed on to me. He's slept in my bed nearly every night of his life. He's got an incredible personality. I sound like a stupid person talking about her cat... but it's true. I can throw him in the air and spin him around and hold him upside down by one foot and he doesn't struggle or try to leave or even lay back his ears. He's the perfect kid cat. As long as you don't hurt him, he doesn't really care what you do. As long as it's attention.
He spends most days on my lap everytime I make it available.

But I think he's dying and I don't know if I can handle that. Smudge and Whiskers are the only cats I've had since they were kittens. Most of the cats we've had have been weird lil strays that were standoffish and mean. They weren't people cats... they were just cats. Little semi-tame wild things that lived in your house.

Whiskers just got really sick a little while ago. I've never seen him sick like that before. He's calm now. But it really sort of freaked me out.
I know it sounds *so* stupid... but I dunno if I can hold it together for this cat dying. He's 13.

I'm just sitting here... crying... about my cat.... He's just hanging out over there. Sitting quietly.
Normally he'd be in my room. But part of his explosive recent sickness happened in my room. The only other time he eliminated anything in my room I was angry for the whole day and he was scared of going into my room. I guess he thinks I'm mad. Which just makes me feel worse.
I need to quit thinking about this.

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