A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

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I started drinking at 5:30 this evening.
I dunno if that's a good sign or a bad sign. It's the first time I've had an appreciable amount of alcohol since the night Alicia, Scott, Chuck, Dave, Karl had a lil get together. So ... the third shallow pour of this Stump Jump *is* indeed making my face warm and making me a lil looser hipped, a lil more grinny and lazy eyed.
I had the joy of horrendous nightmares last night that kept me more or less awake from about 4 am until I gave up and got out of bed around 8.
I walked around outside before the humidity soared this morning and was just really content with how calm and slow the world was in the morning.
Then there was another bombing on the news. And more kids kidnapped and more drive bys in the area and more investigation into corruption of childrean and more corporate fraud and I read some things earlier about statistics on incestuous rape and molestation and I just got really angry at the world in a general way and just...

I'm drinking.
It's the bottle of Wine Karl gave me after my cleaning week up there. I've been holding on to it because it's hard to find around here (haven't found any yet), but ... well... bah.

I want a cigarette.
it's been a couple months since I've smoked... I didn't keep exact track of days... but I really want a cigarette.

Why the hell isn't "ornery" one of the moods in the current mood list?
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