A Non-Newtonian Fluid (maddening) wrote,
A Non-Newtonian Fluid
maddening

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Heheeh

It's disturbing to find myself liking a sibling.
Really. We weren't raised to do that.... it's alien to me.

This was part of a mail he sent me. If you know me well enough you'll understand right away why I've always gotten along with him the best out of my siblings (despite a lot of my childhood terror being inflicted upon me by him and his zombie routine).


Speaking of work...I didn't realize how miserable I was at {BUSINESS} until last
week when one of my former co-workers from {BUSINESS} sent me an e-mail with a
little something that I had written. It reminded me of how much I used to
laugh and have fun there. I think you'll get a kick out of this.

Setup: One of the administrative asistants had been e-mailing me about a
vendor. She and I started to casually cuss at each other in each exchange.
This gradually built up into some pretty nasty name calling. Twards the end,
she asked me if somone pissed in my wheaties that morning. here was my
reply:


No. However, there was a small gray monkey wearing blue
and yellow boxer shorts. He was walking around my living room holding a
small sign that said "ducks are our friends". He had on tap shoes that
made him walk funny. Well, they made him walk a little funnier than
monkeys normally do. When I tried to approach him, he gave me the finger
and started to screech really loud. I can only assume that he had been
abused. After all, he was a small monkey. I'm sure the bigger monkeys
must have picked on him. Anyway, I opened the front door to get away
from the screeching noise. He ran past me into the front yard. I don't
know if it was just because it was so nice out this morning or if it had
just been awhile since he's been outside. Thankfully, he stopped
screeching. However, he looked a little perplexed. He just kind of stood
there looking around. I wonder if it was because it had been dark in the
house and it was bright outside. Next thing I know he grabs his left arm
and keels over dead. I couldn't believe that the freaking thing had a
heart attack right there is the front yard. I didn't know what to do. I
called 911, but they said they don't service gray monkeys. When I asked
them what I should do with him, they got all snotty with me and told me
that I should have thought of that before I invited him into my home.
When I tried to explain that I didn't know where he came from, they
laughed at me and hung up. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I
coated him in polyurethane and put him in classic "monkey holding a
protest sign" pose. One of my neighbors already commented on how nice it
looks.

See...I don't have this comedic edge since I've been working at {BUSINESS}. That
really sucks the big one...
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