Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

I really love Ruby. Go get an album and listen to it.

I'm all nervous about work tomorrow and I dunno why. I think it's mainly clothing based, actually. I'm not yet used to the uniform or going down the main office hall, that's going to take a few weeks.

It's amazing what just a little bit of conversation with someone I like will do for my mood. It doesn't always work, but so much of the time just a short conversation will turn around a really really horrible mood. I'm glad I vented a tiny bit today at Karl. It really really helped. I'm glad I vented a tiny bit at Jessie the other day becuase that really helped too. If I can just keep myself occupied mentally I think I can keep myself from getting into the extremely negative morose thinking that's kept me so depressed the last couple weeks.
No, that's not my way of saying I need to avoid. If I was avoiding, I wouldn't have acknowledged that I've been depressed.
It just does me no good to dwell. I am a world class dweller and it is probably the worst thing I could do to myself. I analyze too much as it is. I over think everything and work myself into mental corners that aren't really there. I keep myself miserable through exceedingly negative thinking.
And while I don't think I can get totally self-help-bookish on myself, I do think that it's time I start doing some more agressive positive thinking. I've been stunned at my own confidence lately. I've been really impressed with myself in that I apparently somewhere along the way picked up some self esteem that I wasn't aware that I had.
I just have to remember that when it counts.
And remember that I'm strong and I've been through things that are so much more difficult than this. This? This shit? This is fucking *nothing*.
I need to remember that.

Sometimes the squeaky wheels are whiners.
But not me. And I need to remember that most of all. Help is there, I just need to ask for it (and sometimes I need to stomp my foot and fucking scream for it) and I certainly deserve it.


Aug. 22nd, 2002 09:03 am (UTC)
"silly boy", I was well aware of the fact that you were teasing me.

Currently I'm thinking about having more coffee and wondering if I should do something to my hair before work...that's what's on my mind. ::Nods::

Aug. 22nd, 2002 09:17 am (UTC)
Oh well... *mopes around*
Aug. 22nd, 2002 09:23 am (UTC)
Apparently I'm just not getting what you're saying here, dude.
And I don't really get why you replied to *this* post with this instead of the other... ::shrug::

What am I supposed to be telling you, and why is my not telling you whatever it is I'm supposed to be telling you worth moping about?

Or is this some cutesy online interaction thingy that I'm just getting?

I'm not really the <3<3<3*~HUUUUGZ~* <3<3<3 sort of chick, in case ya hadn't noticed.
Aug. 22nd, 2002 10:11 am (UTC)
I'm just a little confused as to why I was taken of your friends list, so I moped.
Aug. 22nd, 2002 04:10 pm (UTC)
It wasn't because of the Chris Rock thing. I took you off before then. It's a level of interest concerning your journal, not a personal judgement.


A Non-Newtonian Fluid

Latest Month

March 2010

Page Summary

Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow