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great.
waiting for a piece of mail.
one finally comes.
and it's my horoscope for tomrrow/today.
why do I sign up for these things?
why don't I ever cancel them?
just delete them out of my inbox.
still on the irrelativity list.
still getting the nation newsletter
and mojo wire.
still just deleting them when I don't want to put in the time to read
Which is more and more often, you know.
way too tired for a horoscope.
way too tired for that to be the only thing sent to me
looking for mail from someone in particular.
but I'm sure my letter hasn't gotten there.
Too much too late.
and really... who am I fooling?
and why do I give a damn?
I brush off certains left and right
it's one of my few talents.
and this one has me by the anger
and it's now just pride pride pride.
can't let him win by making me lose.
can't just sit around and be ignored
so I wrote a silly letter
that may not even get read
and I didn't save a copy.
so it'll be out there somewhere.
in the trash
or making an excellent coaster for an extra large coffee
but the fucker will get a ration of shit
either way really .
can't play the mat game.
one chance to wipe their feet on my face is all anyone gets anymore
and while he hasn't been grinding in the dirt
he's certainly been tapping his toes
and making me gritty
i tried to do it nicely
really
tried to show my interest
I'm just hoping it works
really hoping
and waiting
waiting right now
for someone to get back online.
gimmie that all clear
make my phone ring
it's 2 AM, sweetheart... what the hell are you thinkin.
you're lucky I'm unemployed, you know.
maybe if I go smoke a cigarette you'll be here when I get back
if not.. welll... the eyes
the eyes are fighting to close.
emotional intensity does that sort of thing
wrings me out
if I would just spend every day pent up and strange, maybe I'd sleep better.
but i'd probably talk to people less...
hmmm
ciggies

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maddening
A Non-Newtonian Fluid

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